In one of them he dreamt he was on leave and walking through the City.  At every doorway he had to run the gauntlet of lithe and implacable managing directors, all ready to pounce on him, drag him within and chain him permanently to a stool—­with the complete approval of the Army Council.  In another he was appearing before a tribunal of employers as a conscientious objector to all forms of work.

The last straw was when the Brigadier caused it to be made known that if any officer was particularly unsettled about his future he might be granted a personal interview and it would be seen what could be done for him.  William sat down with the air of one who has established a thumping bridgehead over his Rubicon and wrote to the Brigadier direct and as follows:—­

“SIR,—­I have the honour to hope that this finds you a good deal better than it leaves me at present.  In case you should be in any uncertainty over your prospects on return to half-pay, I shall be happy to grant you a personal interview at my billet (Sheet 45; G 22a 3.7.) and see whether anything can be arranged to suit you.  I may add that I have a number of excellent appointments on my books, from knife-boy to traveller to a firm of mineral water manufacturers.  For my own part my immediate future is firmly settled, thank you.  For at least three months after my discharge from the Army I have no intention of taking up any form of work.

“I have the honour to be, Sir,

“YOUR OTHERWISE OBEDIENT SERVANT, ETC.”

* * * * *

The court-martial was held last Thursday and sentence will be promulgated any day now.  Medical evidence certified William as sane enough to understand the nature of his offence, but as the War is over it is unlikely that he will be shot at dawn.  William himself is confident that he will be cashiered, a sentence which carries with it automatic and permanent exclusion from all appointments under the Crown.  “That makes a tidy gap in the wire,” says William hopefully.  “They won’t even be able to make a postman of me.  With a bit of luck I’ll dodge the unofficial jobs—­I get that holiday after all, old bean.”

* * * * *

    “HUNTING.  THE DANGER OF KICKING HORSES.”—­Times.

Generally the shoe is on the other foot.

* * * * *

    “The Falkirk iron fitters, by an overwhelming majority, have
    opposed the forty-hour week and have agreed to a forty-four
    hour week.”—­Provincial Paper.

Bravo, Falkirk!

* * * * *

    “The announcement of the augmentation of the British beet
    in the Mediterranean appeared exclusively in the ’Sunday
    Express.’”—­Daily Express.

It doesn’t seem anything to boast about.

* * * * *

    “WANTED.—­On a farm, two capable European young or
    middle-aged girls.”—­South African Paper.