* * * * *

HEART-TO-HEART TALKS.

(DR. VON BETHMANN-HOLLWEG AND HERR MICHAELIS.)

Michaelis. I have called partly because I desired to offer my most tactful condolences to my distinguished predecessor in the high office which I hold, and partly because I thought you might be willing to give me some hints as to my conduct, for I should like to leave nothing undone that might make me a successful Chancellor.

Von Bethmann-Hollweg. Upon my word you are even more kind and considerate than I had expected.  Even to exchange a word with a fallen Chancellor is a sign both of kindness and courage.  I wonder how you could screw yourself up to the pitch of being so daring.

M. I am glad you think so, for that is how I myself felt it.

Von B.-H. Well, we will leave your courage out of the question.  It is sufficiently proved by your acceptance of the Chancellorship.  As to such advice as I am able to give, I must ask you first whether you are ready to have the boots of the All-Highest constantly wiped upon various parts of your person?

M. A true Prussian endures that with difficulty.

Von B.-H. But a true Prussian, it seems, can accustom himself to this form of friendship and confidence as to many others.

M. What others do you speak of?

Von B.-H. My worthy Michaelis, you really must have covered your eyes and stopped your ears ever since you were born, otherwise you could not possibly be so ignorant.  Do you not know that if your great and beloved says a foolish thing or does an indiscreet one it will be your duty to shoulder the responsibility for it?  And you can easily calculate yourself during how many hours of the day your back is likely to be without a burden of some sort.  And mind you, you are not to expect to receive any gratitude for your toil.

M. But he speaks a kind word now and then, doesn’t he?

Von B.-H. A kind word?  Ha-ha.  When I think of all that I have done for that man, the acts I have defended, the stupidities I have tried to convert into statesmanship, the tempers I have been the butt of, the childish insults I have had to tolerate, the theatricalities I have been compelled to treat as if they were the most glorious manifestations of Imperial splendour—­when I think of all this and realise that he and I are both still alive, I marvel at such a spectacle of human endurance.

M. I must confess you are not very cheerful or very encouraging.

Von B.-H. I did not set out to cheer you up or to encourage you, but I thought it just as well that someone should tell you the truth.

M. Why aren’t you glad then at having dropped your burden?

Von B.-H. I own I ought to be, but, as you hint, I am not.  There are ways of doing things, and there is a real difference in walking quietly through a door and being kicked out through it with all possible violence.