Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, July 25, 1917 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 47 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, July 25, 1917.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, July 25, 1917 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 47 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, July 25, 1917.

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A motor lorry laden with petrol dashed into the front of a house at Hazelgrove when the family was not at home.  It is only fair to say that the driver did not know they were out.

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The Barcelona-to-Bilbao motor race has been postponed owing to strikes in Spain.  A few sharp lessons like this will, we feel certain, have the effect of discouraging the habit of striking.

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Some men, said a man before the Swindon Guardians, take up angling in order to go into the country to enjoy a smoke.  It is not known why the others do it.

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The Board of Agriculture point out that there is an abundant supply of kippers on the market at reasonable prices.  This will come as a great boon to music-hall audiences, who find that the kippers used by comedians are getting rather frayed at the edges through constant wear.

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“Bad language is used at Billingsgate not so much by the porters as by the buyers,” said a witness at a City inquest last week.  A purchaser at this market declares that the language is often provoked by the fish.  Only last week he had a heated argument with a very talkative haddock.

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England has lost first place in Germany, for America is said to be the most hated country now.  The morning hate of the German family with ragtime obbligato must be a terrible thing.

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“The National Service Department,” said Mr. Beck in the House of Commons, “is desirous of remaining where it is.”  If we are to believe all we read it will take a great deal to move this department.

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“Cod liver oil,” says a weekly paper, “is the secret of health.”  Smith minor sincerely regrets that our contemporary has not kept the secret.

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The Vossische Zeitung, referring to the appointment of Dr. Michaelis, says “there is no chance of his clubbing together with the big industrialists and misguided agitators.”  So long however as they are clubbed separately we shall not grumble.

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Waste-paper in Westminster, it is stated, has gone up from L2 10s. to L7 a ton.  Why, it is asked, cannot the Government come to the rescue and publish the full reports of the Dardanelles and Mesopotamia Commissions?

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Boxes of matches with jokes on them, we are told, are now on sale.  Several correspondents who were charged twopence for a box complain that they are unable to see the joke.

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An Irish newspaper, The Kilkenny People, has been suppressed for seditious utterances.  People are wondering what it can possibly have said.

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There will be no flag-day on August 26th.

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A girl clerk in a Surrey bank has explained a shortage of a half-penny in her postage-stamps by admitting that she swallowed one.  It is thought that the extremely low price tempted her.

Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, July 25, 1917 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.