PETHERTON’S PEDIGREE.

A stroke of luck enabled me to open an interesting little correspondence with my genial neighbour, Petherton, which resulted in one of those delightful passages-of-arms in which Petherton, at least, excels.

    DEAR MR. PETHERTON (I began),—­I have made a discovery which
    will, I am sure, interest you, though I am uncertain whether
    it will be as pleasing to you as to myself.

During certain research work at the Record Office I came across incontrovertible evidence that we are in some way related through a Petherton in the early part of the eighteenth century (tempus GEORGE II.) being sufficiently far-seeing to contract a marriage with a Fordyce.  This Petherton, by name Edward, lived at Kirkby Lonsdale, and his wife, Emily Jane Fordyce, at Dent, in the same district.

I haven’t a family tree by me, but know the late-lamented Emily Jane by name.  She was part of the issue of one Henry Fordyce, who is in the direct line, absolutely non-stop, without changing, from the earliest known Fordyce to myself.

What a field for speculation is here opened up!  With your scientific bent you will grasp the possibilities of the hereditary influence of my family on yours, supposing Edward Petherton to be a direct ancestor of your own.  To me the unexpected result of my researches will give an added interest to our correspondence, and I await with eagerness your views as to the value and interest of my discovery.

    Your kinsman,

    HENRY J. FORDYCE.

Petherton cried “Touche” at once, and lunged at me in accordance with my plan of campaign.

SIR (he spluttered),—­As a very busy man I must protest against your attempt to distract my attention by writing to me on a matter that is of no importance.  That your discovery is of a somewhat disconcerting nature I will not deny, but that it is of any particular value or interest to me is hardly to be expected, seeing that it relates to a by-gone century, and any defects acquired by the Pethertons from such a union will, I imagine, have been overcome by now.

The Fordyces were apparently a more attractive race in the eighteenth than in the twentieth century.  I can scarcely imagine a present-day Petherton contracting such a mesalliance.

A direct ancestor of mine, Edward Petherton, as I see by the Family Bible in my possession, was born in 1699, married in 1728, and lived at Kirkby Lonsdale.  His wife’s name is not stated, but I can the more readily believe that he is the misguided individual to whom you refer, as he died in 1729, no doubt as the result of his rash act.  His son, Primus Postumus Petherton, born, as his second name suggests, after his father’s death, carried on the line.  Any possible virtues or talents my family may possess are not, I am certain, from the distaff side of this union.

    Yours faithfully,