“You must be my guardian now in mamma’s absence.  There was a time when I used to be afraid of you; but now I trust you and feel quite at ease with you.”

I kissed her hands and said in a choking voice:  “Oh, Aniela, if you knew what is passing within me!”

She replied, with sadness and compassion:  “I know; you are so good, and all the nobler.”

For a moment I still fought with myself; but she disarmed me,—­I did not dare.  During the remainder of the day she tried to compensate me for my restraint.  Never had I seen in her eyes so much affection and such tenderness.  Is this not perhaps the best way, after all?  Perhaps in this guise the feeling will grow stronger and conquer her at last.  I do not know, I begin to lose my head.  But following this road I sacrifice every day my love for love’s sake.

29 August.

Something very strange and terrifying has happened.  During the sitting, while posing quietly, Aniela suddenly shuddered, her face grew very red and then turned as white as snow.  Both Angeli and I were terribly frightened.  He interrupted his work at once and asked Aniela to rest; I brought her a glass of water.  After a few moments she grew better and wanted to resume the pose; but I saw that it cost her some effort and that she still seemed dazed.  Perhaps she was tired.  The weather is very hot to-day and the streets are like a baker’s oven.  We went back much sooner than the day before, and I noticed that she had not recovered her usual spirits.  During dinner she grew suddenly very red.  Pani Celina asked whether she felt indisposed.  She assured us that nothing was the matter with her.  To my offer to go and bring a doctor, she replied with unusual vivacity, and with a touch of irritation, that there was no need for it, that she was not ill.  During the remainder of the day she was pale, the black eyebrows contracted every now and then, and there was an expression of sternness in her face.  She was more indifferent to me than yesterday, and I fancied she avoided my eyes.  I cannot make out what it means.  I am very restless, and shall not be able to sleep; or if I go to sleep I shall have dreams such as I had before.

30 August.

There is something mysterious going on around me.  Towards noon I knocked at the room of the ladies, to let Aniela know it was time to go to the studio; but they were not there.  The hotel servant told me they had ordered a carriage two hours before and driven into town.  A little surprised at that, I resolved to wait for their return.  Half an hour later they came in, but Aniela gave me her hand silently and passed at once into her room.  A quick glance at her face told me it was troubled.  I thought she had only gone to change her dress, when Pani Celina said:—­

“My dear Leon, please go to Angeli and apologize for Aniela; her nerves are so shaken that she cannot possibly sit for him.”

“What is the matter with her?” I asked, anxiously.