6 August.

There is something in Gastein very health-giving.  To-day I noticed that Aniela has gained quite a brown color from the mountain air, and looks very well; which is all the more noteworthy, as she has had many troubles and anxieties.  One of her troubles was the difference arising between her and her husband, the humiliation of his accepting a loan from me, and my love, which distracts her mind and troubles her peace.  Notwithstanding all this, the delicate face is glowing with health.  There is more color in it than before we came here.  I recall the time when she seemed almost to fade away in my eyes.  I remember how horrified I was at the thought that her life might be in danger.  To-day that fear at least has ceased to haunt me.  If I knew that in the future there would be even less pity for me, that my feelings for her would count for nothing, but that she would be happy and full of health, I should say:  “Let her be pitiless, let her slight my feelings, provided she be well.”  In the composition of true feeling, there is the desire for personal happiness, but there is also tender thoughtfulness and affection.

Yesterday Aniela had donned one of her old dresses.  I noticed it at once, and the whole past stood before me.  God only knows what a turmoil there was within me.

7 August.

My aunt has forgiven Aniela long ago.  She loves her so much that if I died she would still have somebody to cling to, provided Aniela remained.  To-day the dear old aunt was lamenting that Aniela had no amusements, was sitting too much in the house and had seen nothing of the beautiful scenery around except the road to Hofgastein.  “If I were only stronger on my feet I would go with you everywhere; your husband ought to have shown you something of the country, and he was continually tramping about by himself.”

Aniela assured her that she was quite satisfied, and did not want more exercise.

“I have nothing to do,” said I, in the most careless manner, “and walk a great deal.  I can accompany Aniela wherever she wants to go, and show her all that is worth seeing,—­at least in the nearest neighborhood.”  Then I added, in a still more indifferent voice:  “It is considered quite the proper thing.  In a place like this mere acquaintances walk out together, not to say anything about near relations.”

Aniela did not say anything, but both the elder ladies were unanimous in their opinion that I was right.  To-morrow we are to go to the Schreckbruecke.

8 August.

We have entered into our compact, and henceforth a new life is to begin for us both.  It is not quite the same as I had shaped it, but my future life must adapt itself to it.  From now, everything will be clear and definite between us.  There will be nothing new, nothing to be expected or looked out for, but at any rate I shall not be any longer like a man who has no roof to shelter him.

9 August.