Chapter

    I The True Philosophers
   II The Bridge At Meaux
  III Recruiting Rat-Catchers
   IV A Gun Carriage An Altar
    V Life Behind The Lines
   VI Devotion To Animals
  VII Hunting For Generals
 VIII An Instance Of Quick Wit
   IX At The Headquarters Of General Petain
    X A Meeting With “Forain”
   XI Value Of Women’s Work
  XII The “Movies” Under Fire
 XIII A Subterranean Cut
  XIV Poilu And Tommy
   XV Abbreviated French
  XVI The Brown And Black Sons Of France
 XVII At General Nivelle’s Headquarters
XVIII Rheims
  XIX At The Headquarters Of The Generalissimo
   XX To The Glory Of The Women Of France

The True Philosophers

We left Paris determined to undertake the journey to the Front in the true spirit of the French Poilu, and, no matter what happened, “de ne pas s’en faire.”  This famous “motto” of the French Army is probably derived from one of two slang sentences, de ne pas se faire des cheveux ("to keep one’s hair on,”) or de ne pas se faire de la bile, or, in other words, not to upset one’s digestion by unnecessary worrying.  The phrase is typical of the mentality of the Poilu, who accepts anything and everything that may happen, whether it be merely slight physical discomfort, or intense suffering, as part of the willing sacrifice which he made on the day that, leaving his homestead and his daily occupation, he took up arms “offering his body as a shield to defend the heart of France.”

Everything might be worse than it is, says the Poilu, and so he has composed a Litany.  Every regiment has a different version, but always with the same basis.

“Of two things one is certain:  Either you’re mobilised or you’re not mobilised.  If you’re not mobilised, there is no need to worry; if you are mobilised, of two things one is certain:  Either you’re behind the lines or you’re on the Front.  If you’re behind the lines there is no need to worry; if you’re on the Front, of two things one is certain:  Either you’re resting in a safe place or you’re exposed to danger.  If you’re resting in a safe place there is no need to worry; if you’re exposed to danger, of two things one is certain:  Either you’re wounded or you’re not wounded.  If you’re not wounded, there is no need to worry; if you are wounded, of two things one is certain:  Either you’re wounded seriously or you’re wounded slightly.  If you’re wounded slightly there is no need to worry; if you’re wounded seriously, of two things one is certain:  Either you recover or you die.  If you recover there is no need to worry; if you die you can’t worry.”

When once past the “Wall of China,” as the French authorities call the difficult approaches to the war zone, Meaux was the first town of importance at which we stopped.  We had an opportunity to sample the army bread, as the driver of a passing bread wagon flung a large round loaf into our motor.