John Caldigate eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 777 pages of information about John Caldigate.

John Caldigate eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 777 pages of information about John Caldigate.

‘Unless I had you.’  Of all the words which he could have spoken in such an emergency these were the most foolish; and yet, at so tender a moment, how were they to be repressed?

‘I do think that Dick Shand is dangerous,’ she answered, laughing; ’but I should be worse.  I am afraid Dick Shand will—­drink.’

‘If so, we must part.  And what would you do?’

‘What would I do?  What could I do?’ Then there was a pause.  ’Perhaps I should want you to—­marry me, which would be worse than Dick Shand’s drinking.  Eh?’

There is an obligation on a man to persevere when a woman has encouraged him in love-making.  It is like riding at a fence.  When once you have set your horse at it you must go on, however impracticable it may appear as you draw close to it.  If you have never looked at the fence at all,—­if you have ridden quite the other way, making for some safe gate or clinging to the dull lane,—­then there will be no excitement, but also there will be no danger and no disgrace.  Caldigate had ridden hard at the fence, and could not crane at it now that it was so close to him.  He could only trust to his good fortune to carry him safe over.  ’I don’t suppose you would want it,’ he said, ‘but I might.’

’You would want me, but you would not want me for always.  I should be a burden less easy to shake off than Dick Shand.’

‘Is that the way a man is always to look at a woman?’

’It is the way in which they do, I think.  I often wonder that any man is ever fool enough to marry.  A poor man may want some one to serve him, and may be able to get service in no other way; or a man, poor in another way, may find an heiress convenient;—­but otherwise I think men only marry when they are caught.  Women are prehensile things, which have to cling to something for nourishment and support.  When I come across such a one as you I naturally put out my feelers.’

‘I have not been aware of it.’

’Yes, you are; and I do not doubt that your mind is vacillating about me.  I am sure you like me.’

‘Certainly, I like you.’

‘And you know that I love you.’

‘I did not know it.’

’Yes, you did.  You are not the man to be diffident of yourself in such a matter.  You must either think that I love you, or that I have been a great hypocrite in pretending to do so.  Love you!’ They were sitting together on a large spar which was lashed on to the deck, and which had served throughout all the voyage for a seat for second-class passengers There were others now on the farther end of it; but there was a feeling that when Caldigate and Mrs. Smith were together it would not be civil to intrude upon their privacy.  At this time it was dark; but their eyes had become used to the gloom, and each could see the other’s face.  ’Love you!’ she repeated, looking up at him, speaking in a very low voice, but yet, oh so clearly, so that not a fraction of a sound was lost to his ears, with no special emotion

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John Caldigate from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.