These are only a few of the things which are said about them that Ministers ought to know—­if they don’t know them already.  And if they do, and basely pretend not to, we feel that we have done a truly patriotic service in rendering it impossible for them to avoid enlightening the public.  It is always well to know the worst, even about politicians.

* * * * *

WANTED, A HEBE.

    “Tablemaid (thoroughly experienced) required middle of March; god
    wages.”—­Scots Paper.

* * * * *

    “‘Eh, what?’ queried Lawrence in astonishment.  ’What are you doing
    here, my dear?  Are you French?’

    “‘Je suis Belgique, M’sieu,’ replied the girl, whose knowledge of
    English seemed limited.”—­Weekly Paper.

But not so limited as her knowledge of French, we hope.

* * * * *

“St. Ives, Cornwall.—­Artists visiting this town will find their requirements in Artists’ Materials well catered for.  All manufacturers’ colours stocked.  Canvases sketched at shortest possible notice. ——­, Artists’ Colourman.”—­The Studio.

Surely there are no “ghosts” in “the Cornish School!”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Jock.  “OCH, IT’S WONDERFU’.  THE MANNIE MANEEPULATES THE BLACK AN’ WHITE NOTES WI’ EQUAL FACEELITY.”]

* * * * *

AT THE OPERA.

In these dull days of reaction, when, in the intervals of jazzing, we have nothing to satisfy the spiritual void left by the War except the possibility of an industrial cataclysm at home and the triumph of Bolshevism abroad, we owe a large debt of gratitude to Sir THOMAS BEECHAM for his efforts to revive the Town.  And the Town is at last appreciating at their full worth his services both to the cause of popular education in music and to the encouragement of native talent.

It was perhaps a little unfortunate that Aida should have been given on the night of the Guards’ march through London, for the parade of the Pharaoh’s scratch soldiery suffered badly by comparison.  The priesthood of Isis, too, furnished more humour than could, I think, have been designed, and I doubt if even Mr. WEEDON GROSSMITH could have given us anything funnier than the spectacle presented by the Egyptian monarch when making his announcement of an Ethiopian raid.  Nor shall I easily forget the figure of the King of Ethiopia, with a head of hair like a Zulu’s, and swathed in a tiger-skin.  I should myself have chosen the hide of a leopard, for the leopard cannot change his spots nor the Ethiopian his skin, and when you get the two together you have an extraordinarily durable combination.

It would be false flattery to say that Miss ROSINA BUCKMAN quite looked the part of Aida, or Miss EDNA THORNTON that of Amneris, but they both sang finely, and the orchestra did great work under Mr. EUGENE GOOSSENS, Sen.