“It seemed ages before anyone came, and then old Mrs. Smith walked in, saying, ‘I’m glad to tell you, Madam, that you have been approved of.’

“Isn’t it too glorious, George?  You and I have been approved of.  We have got a situation.”

* * * * *

“OUT OF THE FRYING-PAN—­”

  When, moved a few brief seasons back,
    To brave the battle’s brunt,
  On Britain’s shores I turned my pack
    And “somewhere” found a Front;

  Said I; as in my tympanum
    I heard the cannon’s roar,
  “’Twill be a wonder if I come
    Impervious through the War.”

  Yet bomb, shell, bullet and grenade
    Made no great hit with me;
  And now I’m—­well, I’ve just been paid
    My war gratuity.

  But at the sight of civil life,
    If “life” it can be called,
  With all its agonising strife,
    I simply stand appalled.

  And “Oh!” in utter fear I cry,
    “How horrors never cease;
  ’Twill be a miracle if I
    Ever survive the Peace.”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE PERIL WITHOUT.]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, March 24th.—­The Archbishop of CANTERBURY sought from the Government a clear statement of policy regarding the repatriation of enemy aliens, and incidentally paid a high tribute to the British Press, which, we were glad to hear, contains “nobody who desires to fabricate baseless statements.”

He was supported by Lord LAMBOURNE, who as a member of the Advisory Committee knows all about aliens, and declared that “Repatriate them all” was a foolish cry, if it meant that we were expected to present Germany with the British wives and children of the dear deported.

Lord JERSEY, for the Government, desired to treat even Germans justly, but could not see why anyone should wish in these times to increase our alien population.  His speech did not please a batch of noble sentimentalists, drawn from both sides, but seemed to give great satisfaction to Lord LINCOLNSHIRE, who quoted with approval the brave words on the subject uttered by the LORD CHANCELLOR at the General Election, before his style had been mollified by the Woolsack.

In the Commons Mr. BONAR LAW regretfully explained that it was impossible for the Government to do anything to reduce the high prices now being charged for furniture in the East End.  His own experience as a Cabinet-maker has been entirely confined to the West End.

Nor could the Government take any direct steps to ameliorate the overcrowding on the Underground railways.  But, as it was stated that large quantities of leather are still being purchased on Government account, there are hopes that more accommodation for strap-hangers may shortly be available.

Tuesday, March 25th.—­The Lords spent three hours of almost unrelieved gloom in discussing the financial condition of the country.  On that old problem of the economists, “What is a pound?” Lord D’ABERNON delivered an erudite discourse, from which I gathered that it was at present about ten shillings and still shrinking.  The only comfort is that at that rate the National Debt has already been halved.