Further Foolishness eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 195 pages of information about Further Foolishness.

Further Foolishness eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 195 pages of information about Further Foolishness.

Have come out of pigeon-house.  Have cabled back:  How do they know it is a torpedo, how do they know it is a fragment, how do they know he was an American who said he was dead?

My answer has helped.  Feeling in Washington easier at once.  General buoyancy.  Loans and discounts doubled.

As I expected—­a note from Germany.  Chancellor very explicit.  Says not only did they not torpedo the Torpid, but that on the day (whenever it was) that the steamer was torpedoed they had no submarines at sea, no torpedoes in their submarines, and nothing really explosive in their torpedoes.  Offers, very kindly, to fill in the date of sworn statement as soon as we furnish accurate date of incident.  Adds that his own theory is that the Torpid was sunk by somebody throwing rocks at it from the shore.  Wish, somehow, that he had not added this argument.

More bad news:  Further trouble in Mexico.  Appears General Villa is not dead.  He has again crossed the border, shot up a saloon and retreated to the mountains of Huahuapaxtapetl.  Have issued instructions to have the place looked up on the map and send the whole army to it, but without in any way violating the neutrality of Mexico.

Late cables from England.  Two more ships torpedoed.  American passenger lost.  Name of Roosevelt.  Christian name not Theodore but William.  Cabled expression of regret.

WEDNESDAY.  Rose sad at heart.  Did not work in garden.  Tried to weed a little grass along the paths but simply couldn’t.  This is a cruel job.  How was it that Roosevelt grew stout on it?  His nature must be different from mine.  What a miserable nature he must have.

Received delegations.  From Kansas, on the prospect of the corn crop:  they said the number of hogs in Kansas will double.  Congratulated them.  From Idaho, on the blight on the root crop:  they say there will soon not be a hog left in Idaho.  Expressed my sorrow.  From Michigan, beet sugar growers urging a higher percentage of sugar in beets.  Took firm stand:  said I stand where I stood and I stood where I stand.  They went away dazzled, delighted.

Mail and telegrams.  British Admiralty. Torpid Incident.  Send further samples.  Fragment of valise, parts of cow-hide trunk (dead passenger’s luggage) which, they say, could not have been made except in Nevada.

Cabled that the incident is closed and that I stand where I stood and that I am what I am.  Situation in Washington relieved at once.  General feeling that I shall not make war.

Second Cable from England.  The Two New Cases.  Claim both ships torpedoed.  Offer proofs.  Situation very grave.  Feeling in Washington very tense.  Roosevelt out with a signed statement, What will the President Do? Surely he knows what I will do.

Cables from Germany.  Chancellor now positive as to Torpid.  Sworn evidence that she was sunk by some one throwing a rock.  Sample of rock to follow.  Communication also from Germany regarding the New Cases.  Draws attention to fact that all of the crews who were not drowned were saved.  An important point.  Assures this government that everything ascertainable will be ascertained, but that pending juridical verification any imperial exemplification must be held categorically allegorical.  How well these Germans write!

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Further Foolishness from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.