Timbuctoo Tosh.

Last week, when all those ridiculous rumours anent Timbuctoo were flying about, you will remember how I warned you to set no faith in them.  You will admit that I was a good counsellor.  Nothing has happened at Timbuctoo.  I doubt very much whether anything could happen there.

Hush!

On the other hand, keep your eye on a spot not a thousand miles away from Clubland.  Something will certainly happen there some day, and, when it does, bear in mind that I warned you.

Amazing Discovery.

Mr. ROOSEVELT’S discovery that, unknown to himself, he has been blind in one eye for over a year, is surely surpassed by the experience of Mr. Caractacus Crowsfeet, the popular M.P. for Slushington, who has just learnt, as the result of a cerebral operation, that he possesses no brain whatever.  “It is indeed remarkable,” said Mr. C. to me the other day, “for I can truthfully assert that in all my arduous political labours of the past ten years I have never felt the need or even noticed the absence of this organ.”  He coughed modestly.  “I have always maintained that in politics it is the man, not the mind, that counts.”

She Has One!

Mrs. Zebulon Napthaliski proposes to spend the winter on her Brighton estate.  “Yes—­I have received my sugar card,” she told me, in answer to my eager query.  “More than that I cannot say.”

Fare and Foliage.

That charming fashion of decorating the dinner-table with foliage will be all the rage this winter.  Well-known London hostesses, basket on arm, may daily be seen in Mayfair garnering fallen leaves from lawn, path or roadside.  Some very daring Society women are dispensing altogether with a cloth, the table being covered with a complete layer of leaves.  I doubt, however, whether this will become popular, guests showing a tendency to mislay their knives and forks in the foliage.

A Bon Mot.

Have you heard the latest bon mot that is going the round of the clubs?  Mrs. Savory Beet, of Pacifist fame, has, as you will recall, announced her intention of taking up war work.  “Ah!” was the comment of a cynical bachelor, “it was a case of her taking up something or being taken up herself!” His audience simply screamed with laughter.

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Watch Out!

Don’t be surprised if you hear of some sensational political developments in the near future.  The Minister who said recently that the inevitable sequel to war was peace, was, in the opinion of those competent to judge but, by reason of their official position, unable to criticise, hinting at proposals which, if the signs and portents of the time go for anything, would have far-reaching effects on the question of Electoral Representation.  I will say no more.  Time alone will disclose my meaning.

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