* * * * *

ANOTHER INJUSTICE.

From a Sinn Fein speech:—­

    “When Ireland was silent England did not hear her cry
    out.”—­Wicklow News-Letter.

* * * * *

    “WHY SHOULD A RABBIT COST 2s. 3d.?

    “This question from a reader induces me to postpone until next week
    my analysis of the high cost of onions.”—­Empire News.

On the principle that it is better to make sure of the rabbit before arranging about the stuffing.

* * * * *

    “Stockholm, Tuesday.

“News from Finland shows that the Socialist leaders have lost control of the workmen, and all kinds of excesses are taking place.  The present Commandant at Tornea was a sailor, the head of the passport office was a tailor, and the chief telegraphic censor a tinker.”—­Central News.

We miss the soldier, to say nothing of “apothecary, ploughboy, thief.”

* * * * *

“Scholars and tragedians between them seem to have appropriated the right to keep Shakespeare’s memory green.  But there are other Richmonds in the field, humble Richmonds, not well read ...  John of Gaunt, crying that his England ’never did nor never shall lie at the proud foot of a conqueror....’”—­The Times.

The writer who thus deprived the Bastard in King John of his famous lines was, we infer, one of the “other Richmonds.”

* * * * *

SUGAR.

AN ELEGIAC ODE.

  Queen of the palate!  Universal Sweet! 
  Gastronomy’s delectable Gioconda! 
  Since with submission loyally I greet
  And follow out the regimen of RHONDDA,
  I cannot be considered indiscreet
  If I essay, but never go beyond, a
  Brief elegiac tribute to a sway
  By sterner needs now largely swept away.

  Thy candy soothes the infant in its pram;
  Thou addest mellowness to old brown sherry;
  Thou glorifiest marmalade, on Cam
  And Isis making breakfast-tables merry;
  Thou lendest magic to the meanest jam
  Compounded of the most insipid berry;
  And canst convert the sourest crabs and quinces
  To jellies fit for epicures and princes.

  Thou charmest unalloyed, in loaf or lumps
  Or crystals; brown and moist, or white and pounded;
  I never was so deeply in the dumps
  That, once thy fount of sweetness I had sounded,
  Courage returned not; even with the mumps
  I still could view with gratitude unbounded
  The navigators of heroic Spain
  Who found the New World—­and the sugar-cane.

  Sprinkled on buttered bread thou dost excite
  In human boys insatiable cravings;
  On Turkish (I regret to say) Delight
  Thou lurest them to dissipate their savings,
  Instead of banking them, or sitting tight,
  Or buying useful books and good engravings;
  And lastly, mixed with strawberries and cream,
  Thou art more than a dish, thou art a dream.