* * * * *

AID FOR THE MILITARY POLICE.

“The recruiting hut which is being erected in Trafalgar Square in connection with the campaign undertaken by the Ministry of Labour to recruit women for the Women’s Army Auxiliary Cops will shortly be completed.”—­Sunday Pictorial.

* * * * *

    “She was visited occasionally by a man of foreign appearance, who
    was believed to be her bother-in-law.”—­Ipswich Evening Star.

Probably one of those “strained relations” we so often read about.

* * * * *

    “My Correspondent’s bona fides are above suspicion.”—­"The
    Clubman” in “The Pall Matt Gazette."

One good fide deserves another, but of course the more the merrier.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Keen Motorist (who has temporarily taken to push-biking, to leisurely fowl which has brought him low).  “JUST YOU WAIT TILL THEY REMOVE THESE PETROL RESTRICTIONS.”]

* * * * *

INVITATION.

  If you will come and stay with us you shall not want for ease;
  We’ll swing you on a cobweb between the forest trees;
  And twenty little singing-birds upon a flowering thorn
  Shall hush you every evening and wake you every morn.

  If you will come and stay with us you need not miss your school;
  A learned toad shall teach you, high-perched upon his stool;
  And he will tell you many things that none but fairies know—­
  The way the wind goes wandering and how the daisies grow.

  If you will come and stay with us you shall not lack, my dear,
  The finest fairy raiment, the best of fairy cheer;
  We’ll send a million glow-worms out, and slender chains of light
  Shall make a shining pathway—­then why not come to-night?

  R.F.

* * * * *

CHRISTMAS FARE IN WAR-TIME.

    “Whatever the dinner be like, we can still have our fill of
    holly and mistletoe.”—­Star.

* * * * *

IMITATION AIR-RAIDS.

Mr. Punch is glad to note that some real efforts are being made to meet the public needs in this matter on nights when there is no attack by the enemy.

In particular the owners of certain large warehouses have come forward in a spirited manner by giving directions for the banging of large folding-doors at suitable (irregular) hours.  Private individuals also, especially when returning home late at night, can do something in the way of supplying entertainment for nervous residents in the neighbourhood.  Much is expected, too, of the large dairy companies, who, by their control of vast numbers of heavy milk-cans, are in a peculiarly favoured position.  By the manipulation of these vessels on a stone floor a very