that seized me, at seeing a duck made drunk by eating
rum-cherries. I turned my back on the window.
Another hour followed, then another, and another:
I was still as far from poetry as ever; every object
about me seemed bent against my abstraction; the card-racks
fascinating me like serpents, and compelling me to
read, as if I would get them by heart, “Dr.
Joblin,” “Mr. Cumberback,” “Mr.
Milton Bull,” &c. &c. I took up my pen,
drew a sheet of paper from my writing-desk, and fixed
my eyes upon that;—’t was all in
vain; I saw nothing on it but the watermark,
D.
Ames. I laid down the pen, closed my eyes,
and threw my head back in the chair. “Are
you waiting to be shaved, Sir?” said a familiar
voice. I started up, and overturned my servant.
“No, blockhead!”—“I am
waiting to be inspired";—but this I added
mentally. What is the cause of my difficulty?
said I. Something within me seemed to reply, in the
words of Lear, “Nothing comes of nothing.”
Then I must seek a subject. I ran over a dozen
in a few minutes, chose one after another, and, though
twenty thoughts very readily occurred on each, I was
fain to reject them all; some for wanting pith, some
for belonging to prose, and others for having been
worn out in the service of other poets. In a
word, my eyes began to open on the truth, and I felt
convinced that
that only was poetry which a
man writes because he cannot help writing; the irrepressible
effluence of his secret being on every thing in sympathy
with it,—a kind of
flowering of
the soul amid the warmth and the light of nature.
I am no poet, I exclaimed, and I will not disfigure
Mr. Ames with commonplace verses.
I know not how I should have borne this second disappointment,
had not the title of a new Novel, which then came
into my head, suggested a trial in that branch of
letters. I will write a Novel. Having come
to this determination, the next thing was to collect
materials. They must be sought after, said I,
for my late experiment has satisfied me that I might
wait for ever in my elbow-chair, and they would never
come to me; they must be toiled for,—not
in books, if I would not deal in second-hand,—but
in the world, that inexhaustible storehouse of all
kinds of originals. I then turned over in my mind
the various characters I had met with in life; amongst
these a few only seemed fitted for any story, and
those rather as accessories; such as a politician
who hated popularity, a sentimental grave-digger, and
a metaphysical rope-dancer; but for a hero, the grand
nucleus of my fable, I was sorely at a loss.
This, however, did not discourage me. I knew
he might be found in the world, if I would only take
the trouble to look for him. For this purpose
I jumped into the first stage-coach that passed my
door; it was immaterial whither bound, my object being
men, not places. My first day’s journey
offered nothing better than a sailor who rebuked a
member of Congress for swearing. But at the third