Oldest Inhabitant. “I NEVER EXPECTED TO LIVE TILL THE END OF THE WAR, MA’AM; BUT NOW I’M HOPING TO BE SPARED TO SEE THE BEGINNING OF THE NEXT ONE.”]

* * * * *

CHOICE BOOKS OF THE WEEK.

THE NEW PARIS SKETCH-BOOK; OR, THE FIRST FIFTY THOUSAND.

By GLADYS FLAPPERTON, O.B.E., Author of Peace and Plenty of It.

This charming volume describes in detail the delightful Parisian holiday which has been provided by the Government under the best possible conditions for young ladies with (and without) a knowledge of typewriting.

* * * * *

TIGER LILY,

A POEM IN FOURTEEN SPASMS._

By WOODROW WILSON.

Affectionately dedicated to M. CLEMENCEAU.

* * * * *

THE HISTORY OF FREDERICK THE GREAT.

BY HAROLD SMITH, M.P.

("England’s Harold.”)

With an Introduction by the LORD CHANCELLOR.

* * * * *

O SMILLIE, WE HAVE MISSED YOU, AND OTHER LYRICS.

Highly recommended by Messrs. MUDIE and SANKEY (the Author).

Copies of this beautiful work have been accepted by several mining royalties.

* * * * *

THE GEDDES BIOGRAPHICAL DICTIONARY.

Publication of the Second Volume (AUC—­ERIC).

It is hoped to complete in twelve handsome volumes this the first attempt to record and codify the achievements and services of the GEDDES family in the Great War.

* * * * *

WASTEWARD HO!

A ROMANCE OF CIPPENHAM.

With an Introductory Apologia by Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL.

* * * * *

THE NEXT WAR.

["As the result of a conference called by the War Office it has been decided to wage a war of annihilation against the warble-fly.  It is hoped that by means of concerted action through the country this pestilent insect, so injurious to the hides of horses and cattle, may be completely stamped out.” Daily Paper.]

  The warble-fly, the warble-fly
  Is absolutely doomed to die. 
  They’ve summoned all the General Staff,
  There’s going to be a mighty “strafe,”
  And soon the land from shore to shore
  Will echo with the din of war,
  As armed hosts with martial cries
  Descend upon the warble-flies.

  We’ve got the shells, we’ve got the guns
  (The same that overwhelmed the Huns),
  And, what is more, we’ve got the Man;
  With WINSTON riding in the van
  I do not think there’s any doubt
  That we shall put the foe to rout,
  And, scorning peace by compromise,
  Annihilate the warble-flies.

  In tranquil peace the gentle beeves
  Shall chew their cud through summer eves;
  No more shall that alarming warble
  Affright the calm of heifer or bull,
  And send them snorting round the croft
  With eyes of fear and tails aloft. 
  Till every warble-fly be floored
  Whitehall will never sheathe the sword.