[Footnote 3:  Gasometers.]

I sed that wur very good accommodashun to hev XXX laid on vor use.

We soon druv into the beggest pleace I wur ever in since I wur born’d.  Thay sed ‘twer Paddington, an’ that I wur to get out, vor they wurn’t a-gwain to drive no furder.  I hed paid to go to Lunnon, an’ thay shood drive all the way when thay wur paid avoor’and.

I wur tell’d Paddington wur the Lunnon stashun by a porter, an’ I look’d round vor Sairy Jane, as she sed as how her ud be heer at one o’clock; and porter sed ‘twer then dree o’clock, an’ likely Sairy Jane had gone away.  Drat thay sausingers as mead I too late vor the train!

I set down to wait for Sairy Jane, as I didn’t know her directions, an’ hed left the letter she sent at whoam.  Arter waitin’ for a long while I started out, an’ ‘oped to see her in sum part o’ Lunnon.

* * * * *

Another story Tom Peregrine is fond of reading to us relates how a labouring man was recommended to get some oxtail soup to strengthen him.  He goes into the town and sees “Oxikali Soap” written up on a shop window.  He buys a cake of it, makes his wife boil it up in the pot, and then proceeds to drink it for his health.  When he has taken a spoonful or two and found it very unpleasant, his wife makes him finish it up, saying it is sure to do him good; and she consoles him with the assurance that all medicine is nasty.

At the harvest home in the big barn, after the applause which followed Tom Peregrine’s recitation had died away, a sturdy carter stood up and sang a very old Gloucestershire song, which runs as follows:—­

THE TURMUT HOWER.

“I be a turmut hower,
Vram Gloucestershire I came;
My parents be hard-working folk,
Giles Wapshaw be my name. 
The vly, the vly,
The vly be on the turmut,
An’ it be aal me eye, and no use to try
To keep um off the turmut.

“Zum be vond o’ haymakin’,
An’ zum be vond o’ mowin’,
But of aal the trades thet I likes best
Gie I the turmut howin’. 
The vly, etc.

“‘Twas on a summer mornin’,
Aal at the brake o’ day,
When I tuck up my turmut hower,
An’ trudged it far away. 
The vly, etc.

“The vust pleace I got work at,
It wus by the job,
But if I hed my chance agen,
I’d rayther go to quod. 
The vly, etc.

“The next pleace I got work at,
’Twer by the day,
Vor one old Varmer Vlower,
Who sed I wur a rippin’ turmut hower. 
The vly, etc.

“Sumtimes I be a-mowin’,
Sumtimes I be a-plowin’,
Gettin’ the vurrows aal bright an’ clear
Aal ready vor turmut sowin’. 
The vly, etc.

“An’ now my song be ended
I ’ope you won’t call encore;
But if you’ll kum here another night,
I’ll seng it ye once more. 
The vly, etc.”

[Illustration:  On the Wolds. 116.png]