Comic History of England eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 89 pages of information about Comic History of England.

Comic History of England eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 89 pages of information about Comic History of England.

William II., surnamed “Rufus the Red,” the auburn-haired son of the king, took possession of everything—­especially the treasure—­before his father was fully deceased, and by fair promises solidified the left wing of the royal party, compelling the disaffected Norman barons to fly to France.

William II. and Robert his brother came to blows over a small rebellion organized by the latter, but Robert yielded at last, and joined William with a view to making it hot for Henry, who, being a younger brother, objected to wearing the king’s cast-off reigning clothes.  He was at last forced to submit, however, and the three brothers gayly attacked Malcolm, the Scotch malecontent, who was compelled to yield, and thus Cumberland became English ground.  This was in 1091.

[Illustration:  William II.  Takes possession of the royal Trunk and secures the crown.]

In 1096 the Crusade was creating much talk, and Robert, who had expressed a desire to lead a totally different life, determined to go if money could be raised.  Therefore William proceeded to levy on everything that could be realized upon, such as gold and silver communion services and other bric-a-brac, and free coinage was then first inaugurated.  The king became so greedy that on the death of the Archbishop of Canterbury he made himself ex-officio archbishop, so that he might handle the offerings and coin the plate.  When William was ill he sent for Father Anselm, but when he got well he took back all his sweet promises, in every way reminding one of the justly celebrated policy pursued by His Sulphureous Highness the Devil.

The capture of Jerusalem by the Crusaders very naturally attracted the attention of other ambitious princes who wished also to capture it, and William, Prince of Guienne, mortgaged his principality to England that he might raise money to do this; but when about to embark for the purpose of taking possession of this property, William II., the royal note-shaver, while hunting, was shot accidentally by a companion, or assassinated, it is not yet known which, and when found by a passing charcoal-burner was in a dead state.  He was buried in 1100, at Winchester.

[Illustration:  RUFUS FOUND DEAD IN THE FOREST BY A POOR CHARCOAL-BURNER.]

Rufus had no trouble in securing the public approval of his death.  He was the third of his race to perish in the New Forest, the scene of the Conqueror’s cruelty to his people.  He was a thick-set man with a red face, a debauchee of the deepest dye, mean in money matters, and as full of rum and mendacity as Sitting Bull, the former Regent of the Sioux Nation.  He died at the age of forty-three years, having reigned and cut up in a shameful manner for thirteen years.

Robert having gone to the Holy Land, Henry I. was crowned at Westminster.  He was educated to a higher degree than William, and knew the multiplication table up to seven times seven, but he was highly immoral, and an armed chaperon stood between him and common decency.

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Project Gutenberg
Comic History of England from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.