Between us and freedom rise the accusing phantoms of blankets we signed for and failed to return, blankets we misused as carpets, curtains and table-cloths.  The bright dawn of the new era is overcast by their threatening shadow.

The A.A.L.R.B.G.S.—­Acting-Assistant Local Recorder of Blankets General Service, a very important Hat indeed—­some time last winter paid us a visit and went away without complaint.  We had specialised in cherishing Blankets G.S.  For fear of loss or damage none had been issued for use, and the enthusiasm of all ranks was so warm that the men were glad to sleep without them, if only they might go and see for themselves the full tally of blankets folded correctly to a hair’s-breadth and piled irreproachably and unapproachably in the stores.

Then, three days ago, arrived a chit asking us to explain a curt quotation from the report of the A.A.L.R.B.G.S., to the effect that

  “There was a blanket on the table
  in the store.”

By a civilian this might be interpreted as a word of praise for our care of the table or for the comfortable tout ensemble of the Quartermaster-Sergeant’s treasure-house; but we know better.  We read it with the sensations of a householder who, after the call of a Scotland Yard official, should be invited to explain, in an otherwise satisfactory account of his visit, the sentence—­

  “There was a corpse in the boot
  cupboard.”

It suggested criticism, suspicion, disapproval.  In his dilemma the O.C. replied as follows:—­

“Owing to the fact that, in view of the paper scarcity, the keeping of Individual History Sheets for the Blankets under my command was discontinued early in the War, I have found it difficult to collect evidence.  I beg, however, to submit the likeliest explanations that offer.

“(1) Possibly the blanket was placed on the table, folded and compressed beneath the weight of the various utensils, literature and stationery necessary to the functioning of a B.Q.M.S., in order that the correct regimental wrinkles, as laid down in the various handbooks, might be made and maintained; the blanket to be used as a model at lectures to young soldiers on the care of equipment.

“(2) The distance between the Main Blanket Dump and the table under suspicion is only four feet.  It is in the experience of all familiar with conditions in the Field that blankets with long service frequently develop extreme activity.  I beg to suggest that the blanket in question may have absented itself without leave from the main dump and proceeded as far as the table by its own locomotive power.