***

“Great Britain,” says an essayist, “has come out of the war with flying colours.”  No blame, we understand, attaches to Mr. Philip Snowden for this.

***

A large marrow has been washed ashore at Lowestoft bearing a name and address and the words, “Please write.”  It is not known why the marrow left home.

***

A report comes from Berlin that Dr. SOLF has resigned.  It is expected that he will be succeeded by Dr. SOLF.

***

The greengrocer who deliberately attempted to spoil President Wilson’s welcome by exhibiting American apples for sale on Boxing Day is suspected of being a naturalised German.

***

A North of England widower would like to meet lady possessing in her own right a bottle of whisky.  Object, matrimony.

***

The largely increased number of unemployed politicians is causing the country great concern.

***

Heavy falls of snow have occurred in the Midlands, where the people say they have not had such a winter since last summer.

***

Described as the tallest soldier in Ireland, Michael Grady, of County Mayo, who is seven feet two inches in height, hopes to settle down on a farm.  It is expected that he will shortly be measured for a village.

***

“To improve the appetite,” says a Health Culture journal, “one should salute the morn by throwing open the windows, lay on the bedroom floor with the feet in the air and breathe deeply.”  This method of saluting is not recommended to recruits.

***

The latest Sunday newspaper reminds us that it prints all the news.  It must do better than this if it is to keep pace with some of our contemporaries.

***

Charged at Carmarthen with bigamy a soldier said he had no recollection of his second marriage.  Once again we feel compelled to point out the advantage of keeping a diary.

***

It appears that one burglar has claimed his discharge from the Army on the ground that he is a pivotal man and that several policemen are waiting for him.

***

It is wrong to suppose, says the Coal Control Department, that anthracite is injurious to health.  The little ones all declare that its flavour compares favourably with that of Brazil nuts.

***

Three cases of mince-pie shock are reported from the Westbourne Grove district.

***

A woman has been fined ten shillings at Birmingham for putting cold tea in bottles and selling it as whisky.  One of the purchasers, it appears, had his suspicions aroused by the peculiar taste of the liquid.

***

The KAISER’S health, says a contemporary, is still a cause of anxiety.

Not to us.

***

“Shootings wanted.

   “Woman (middle-aged, respectable) would give services for home and
    small wage.”