Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, Jan. 15, 1919 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 54 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, Jan. 15, 1919.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, Jan. 15, 1919 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 54 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, Jan. 15, 1919.

“Beer makee players plenty much worser for thief-man,” said Ah Sin ingratiatingly.

In the end I produced the beer as well as the bread and the incantations commenced.  They consisted in getting outside my bread and beer, and in filling the intervals between mouthfuls with a copious barrage of Chinese, occasional prostrations and a considerable amount of laughter.  This last aroused my suspicions and I asked what it meant.

“Thief-man keepee plenty big pain here,” explained Dam Li, indicating the region to which the bread and beer had by now all descended.  “Him topside mad this minute.”

“Giveum back jug to-mollow,” prophesied Ah Sin.  “China boy come an’ see,” he added as he got up to go.

The morrow arrived and so did the Chinamen, but not the milk-jug.  This seemed to cause Ah Sin and Dam Li the greatest surprise.

“Thief-man No. 1 stlong man,” asserted the former.

“Wantchee extla double-lation players,” agreed his companion.

“Hon’lable officer giveum China boy ’nother piece blead,” suggested Ah Sin.

“An’ baer,” added Dam Li hastily.

Nosing an obvious conspiracy I at first refused.  However I at length gave way on the understanding that there was on no account to be a third imposition.  The rites of the day before were thereupon repeated.

When they were over Dam Li suddenly professed himself to be inspired.

“China boy seeum jug,” he announced.

“Where?” I asked.

“Seeum box, plenty too muchee big,” Dam Li went on in sepulchral tones; “jug inside box.”

Ah Sin now joined in.

“Where isum box?” he asked excitedly.

“No savvy,” replied Dam Li, shaking his head.

Ah Sin gazed wildly around.  Seeing a box in the distance he rushed at it.  Dam Li waved him back.

“That box no dam use,” he stated.

Ah Sin tried again.

“P’haps him in dirty box,” he suggested.

Dam Li rolled his eyes inwards, as one who consulted an oracle within.

“Jug inside dirty box,” he agreed ultimately, pointing in its direction.

“Oh, in the dust-bin,” I said.  “Well, there’s no harm in looking.”

So look we did, and there, sure enough, it was.  I picked it out and did some quick thinking.

“Now, when did you two ruffians put it there?” I asked sternly.

“Thief-man put it there,” protested Dam Li, with a magnificent look of injured innocence.

“I know,” said I.  “Come on, now, tell me why you stole it, and, as you’ve brought it back again, I may let you off.”

“China boy’s lations too muchee few, him plenty hungly,” said Ah Sin, seeing that the game was up.

“S’pose him sellum jug, buy plenty beer,” confided Dam Li unblushingly.

“But hon’lable officer lookee too muchee sad, so China boy dam solly.  Fetchee back jug,” resumed Ah Sin.

Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, Jan. 15, 1919 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.