In the agitation consequent upon this incident she butters her bread with the lard, and takes an enormous bite on the way up stairs.  She seeks no more refreshment that night.

One resort alone is left.  With a despairing sigh she turns the great faucet of the bath-tub and holds her head under it till she is upon the verge of a watery grave.  This experiment is her forlorn hope.  Perhaps about three or four o’clock she falls into a series of jerky naps, and dreams that she is editor of a popular Hebrew magazine, wandering frantically through a warehouse full of aspirant MSS. (chiefly from the junior classes of theological seminaries) of which she cannot translate a letter.

Of the tenth of Keturah’s unearthly experiences,—­of the number of times she has been taken for a robber, and chased by the entire roused and bewildered family, with loaded guns; of the pans of milk she has upset, the crockery whose hopes she has untimely shattered, the skulls she has cracked against open doors, the rocking-chairs she has stumbled over and apostrophized in her own meek way; of the neighbors she has frightened out of town by her perambulations; of the alarms of fire she has raised, pacing the wood-shed with a lantern for exercise stormy nights; of all the possible and impossible corners and crevices in which she has sought repose, (she has slept on every sofa in every room in the house, and once she spent a whole night on a closet shelf); of the amiable condition of her mornings, and the terror she is fast becoming to family.  Church, and State, the time would fail her to tell.  Were she to “let slip the dogs of war,” and relate a modicum of the agonies she undergoes,—­how the stamping of a neighbor’s horse on a barn floor will drive every solitary wink of sleep from her eyes and slumber from her eyelids; the nibbling of a mouse in some un-get-at-able place in the wall prove torture; the rattling of a pane of glass, ticking of a clock, or pattering of rain-drops, as effective as a cannon; a guest in the “spare room” with a musical “love of a baby,” something far different from a blessing, and a tolerably windy night, one lengthened vigil long drawn out,—­the liberal public would cry, “Forbear!” It becomes really an interesting science to learn how slight a thing will utterly deprive an unfortunate creature of the great necessity of life; but this article not being a scientific treatise, that must be left to the sympathizing imagination.

Keturah feels compelled, however, to relate the story of two memorable nights, of which the only wonder is that she has lived to tell the tale.

Every incident is stamped indelibly upon her brain.  It is wrought in letters of fire.  “While memory holds a seat in this distracted globe,” it shall not, cannot be forgotten.