AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA.  I declare!  That may happen to a sober man as well as to one who drinks.  What a pity!

BOLSHOV.  How is it they didn’t send you off to Kamchatka?

RISPOLOZHENSKY.  To Kamchatka!  But why, permit me to ask you, why should they send me off to Kamchatka?

BOLSHOV.  Why?  Because you’re drunk and disorderly.  Do they have to show you any indulgence?  Why, you’ll just kill yourself drinking.

RISPOLOZHENSKY.  On the contrary, they spared me.  You see, my dear Agrafena Kondratyevna, they wanted to try me for that very thing—­I went immediately to our general, and flopped at his feet!  “Your Excellency!” I said.  “Don’t ruin me!  I’ve a wife,” I said, “and little children!” “Well,” he said, “deuce take you; they won’t strike a man when he’s down:  tender your resignation, so I shan’t see you here.”  So he spared me.  What now!  God bless him!  He doesn’t forget me even now; sometimes I run in to see him on a holiday:  “Well,” says he, “how are you, Sysoy Psoich?” “I came, your Excellency, to wish you a happy holiday.”  So, I went to the Troitsa monastery not long ago, and brought him a consecrated wafer.  I’ll just take a thimbleful, Agrafena Kondratyevna. [Drinks.

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA.  With my compliments, my dear sir.  Ustinya Naumovna, let’s you and me go out; the samovar is ready, I suppose; I’ll show you that we have something new for the wedding outfit.

USTINYA NAUMOVNA.  I suppose, my jewel, you have heaps of stuff ready.

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA.  Why certainly.  The new materials have come, and it seems as if we didn’t have to pay money for them.

USTINYA NAUMOVNA.  What’s the use of talking, my pearl!  You have your own shop, and it’s as if they grew in your garden. [They go out.

SCENE X

BOLSHOV and RISPOLOZHENSKY

BOLSHOV.  Well, Sysoy Psoich, I suppose you’ve wasted a good deal of ink in your time on this pettifoggery?

RISPOLOZHENSKY.  He, he!  Samson Silych, cheap goods!  But I came to inquire how your business is getting on.

BOLSHOV.  You did!  Much you need to know!  Bah, you low-down people!  You bloodsuckers!  Just let you scent out something or other, and immediately you sneak round with your diabolical suggestions.

RISPOLOZHENSKY.  What kind of a suggestion could come from me, Samson Silych?  What kind of a teacher should I be, when you yourself, perhaps, are ten times wiser than I am?  I shall do what I’m asked to do.  How can I help it?  I’d be a hog if I didn’t; because I, it may be said, am loaded with favors by you, and so are my kiddies.  I’m too much of a fool to advise you; you know your own business yourself better than anybody else.

BOLSHOV.  Know my own business!  That’s the trouble; men like me, merchants, blockheads, understand nothing; and this just serves the turn of such leeches as you.  And now you’ll besiege me on every side and haunt me to death.