***

Another statue has been stolen from Berlin, but Londoners need not be envious.  Quite a lot of Americans will be in this country shortly, and it is hoped that their well-known propensity for souvenir-collecting may yet be diverted into useful channels.

***

The Midland Dairy Farmers’ Association have expressed themselves as satisfied with the prices fixed for Winter milk.  In other agricultural quarters this action is regarded as a dangerous precedent, the view being that no farmer should be satisfied about anything.

***

“My hopes of fortune have been dispelled by unremunerative Government contracts,” said a contractor at the Liverpool Bankruptcy Court.  It is good to read for once of the Government getting the best of a bargain.

***

“What is a bun?” asked the Willesden magistrate last week; which only shows that with a little practice magistrates will get into the way of doing these things almost as well as the High Court judges.

***

The Frankfurter Zeitung declares that “the Germany that President Wilson wants to talk peace with will only be a Germany beaten to its knees.”  Our own opinion is that it will be a Germany beaten to a frazzle.

***

There appears to be a great demand for small second-hand yachts.  The fact is connected, in well-informed circles, with the report that The Daily Mail contemplates taking up the anti-submarine question.

***

Some solicitors have been helping to run the gas works of a certain Corporation during a strike.  While commending this action, we admit that we can conceive of nothing more likely to undermine the resolute patriotism of the man in the street than a gas bill furnished by solicitor.

***

Women are formally warned by the Ministry of Munitions against using T.N.T. as a means of acquiring auburn hair.  Any important object striking the head—­a chimney-pot or a bomb from an enemy aeroplane—­would be almost certain to cause an explosion, with possible injury to the scalp.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “I’m coming to you with ’ARF A Ton in A minute, so don’t Fret yourself, OLE periscope.”]

* * * * *

German thoroughness again.

    “To hold potato crop.

    “New German food dictator will consume all food.”—­Victoria Daily
    Times.

* * * * *

    “An intelligent postal service has delivered those addressed to
    1,000, Upper Grosvenor Street, W. 1, to the Ministry of Good at
    Grosvenor House.”—­Daily Mail.

This is the first we have heard of this Ministry.