Diary of a Nobody eBook

Weedon Grossmith
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 167 pages of information about Diary of a Nobody.

Diary of a Nobody eBook

Weedon Grossmith
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 167 pages of information about Diary of a Nobody.

There was also a large picture in a very handsome frame, done in coloured crayons.  It looked like a religious subject.  I was very much struck with the lace collar, it looked so real, but I unfortunately made the remark that there was something about the expression of the face that was not quite pleasing.  It looked pinched.  Mr. Finsworth sorrowfully replied:  “Yes, the face was done after death—­my wife’s sister.”

I felt terribly awkward and bowed apologetically, and in a whisper said I hoped I had not hurt his feelings.  We both stood looking at the picture for a few minutes in silence, when Mr. Finsworth took out a handkerchief and said:  “She was sitting in our garden last summer,” and blew his nose violently.  He seemed quite affected, so I turned to look at something else and stood in front of a portrait of a jolly-looking middle-aged gentleman, with a red face and straw hat.  I said to Mr. Finsworth:  “Who is this jovial-looking gentleman?  Life doesn’t seem to trouble him much.”  Mr. Finsworth said:  “No, it doesn’t.  He is dead too—­my brother.”

I was absolutely horrified at my own awkwardness.  Fortunately at this moment Carrie entered with Mrs. Finsworth, who had taken her upstairs to take off her bonnet and brush her skirt.  Teddy said:  “Short is late,” but at that moment the gentleman referred to arrived, and I was introduced to him by Teddy, who said:  “Do you know Mr. Short?” I replied, smiling, that I had not that pleasure, but I hoped it would not be long before I knew Mr. Short.  He evidently did not see my little joke, although I repeated it twice with a little laugh.  I suddenly remembered it was Sunday, and Mr. Short was perhaps very particular.  In this I was mistaken, for he was not at all particular in several of his remarks after dinner.  In fact I was so ashamed of one of his observations that I took the opportunity to say to Mrs. Finsworth that I feared she found Mr. Short occasionally a little embarrassing.  To my surprise she said:  “Oh! he is privileged you know.”  I did not know as a matter of fact, and so I bowed apologetically.  I fail to see why Mr. Short should be privileged.

Another thing that annoyed me at dinner was that the collie dog, which jumped up at Carrie, was allowed to remain under the dining-room table.  It kept growling and snapping at my boots every time I moved my foot.  Feeling nervous rather, I spoke to Mrs. Finsworth about the animal, and she remarked:  “It is only his play.”  She jumped up and let in a frightfully ugly-looking spaniel called Bibbs, which had been scratching at the door.  This dog also seemed to take a fancy to my boots, and I discovered afterwards that it had licked off every bit of blacking from them.  I was positively ashamed of being seen in them.  Mrs. Finsworth, who, I must say, is not much of a Job’s comforter, said:  “Oh! we are used to Bibbs doing that to our visitors.”

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Project Gutenberg
Diary of a Nobody from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.