Diary of a Nobody eBook

Weedon Grossmith
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 167 pages of information about Diary of a Nobody.

Diary of a Nobody eBook

Weedon Grossmith
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 167 pages of information about Diary of a Nobody.

November 9.—­My endeavours to discover who tore the sheets out of my diary still fruitless.  Lupin has Daisy Mutlar on the brain, so we see little of him, except that he invariably turns up at meal times.  Cummings dropped in.

November 10.—­Lupin seems to like his new berth—­that’s a comfort.  Daisy Mutlar the sole topic of conversation during tea.  Carrie almost as full of it as Lupin.  Lupin informs me, to my disgust, that he has been persuaded to take part in the forthcoming performance of the “Holloway Comedians.”  He says he is to play Bob Britches in the farce, gone to my uncle’s; Frank Mutlar is going to play old Musty.  I told Lupin pretty plainly I was not in the least degree interested in the matter, and totally disapproved of amateur theatricals.  Gowing came in the evening.

November 11.—­Returned home to find the house in a most disgraceful uproar, Carrie, who appeared very frightened, was standing outside her bedroom, while Sarah was excited and crying.  Mrs. Birrell (the charwoman), who had evidently been drinking, was shouting at the top of her voice that she was “no thief, that she was a respectable woman, who had to work hard for her living, and she would smack anyone’s face who put lies into her mouth.”  Lupin, whose back was towards me, did not hear me come in.  He was standing between the two women, and, I regret to say, in his endeavour to act as peacemaker, he made use of rather strong language in the presence of his mother; and I was just in time to hear him say:  “And all this fuss about the loss of a few pages from a rotten diary that wouldn’t fetch three-halfpence a pound!” I said, quietly:  “Pardon me, Lupin, that is a matter of opinion; and as I am master of this house, perhaps you will allow me to take the reins.”

I ascertained that the cause of the row was, that Sarah had accused Mrs. Birrell of tearing the pages out of my diary to wrap up some kitchen fat and leavings which she had taken out of the house last week.  Mrs. Birrell had slapped Sarah’s face, and said she had taken nothing out of the place, as there was “never no leavings to take.”  I ordered Sarah back to her work, and requested Mrs. Birrell to go home.  When I entered the parlour Lupin was kicking his legs in the air, and roaring with laughter.

November 12, Sunday.—­Coming home from church Carrie and I met Lupin, Daisy Mutlar, and her brother.  Daisy was introduced to us, and we walked home together, Carrie walking on with Miss Mutlar.  We asked them in for a few minutes, and I had a good look at my future daughter-in-law.  My heart quite sank.  She is a big young woman, and I should think at least eight years older than Lupin.  I did not even think her good-looking.  Carrie asked her if she could come in on Wednesday next with her brother to meet a few friends.  She replied that she would only be too pleased.

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Project Gutenberg
Diary of a Nobody from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.