The twa appeared like sisters twin,
  In feature, form, an’ claes;
  Their visage withered, lang an’thin,
  An’ sour as onie slaes: 
  The third cam up, hap-step-an’-lowp,
  As light as onie lambie,
  An’ wi’ a curchie low did stoop,
  As soon as e’er she saw me,
  Fu’ kind that day.

  Wi’ bonnet aff, quoth I, ’Sweet lass,
  I think ye seem to ken me;
  I’m sure I’ve seen that bonie face,
  But yet I canna name ye.’ 
  Quo’ she, an’ laughin as she spak,
  An’taks me by the han’s,
  ’Ye, for my sake, hae gi’en the feck
  Of a’ the Ten Comman’s
  A screed some day.

  ’My name is Fun—­your cronie dear,
  The nearest friend ye hae;
  An’this is Superstition here,
  An’that’s Hypocrisy. 
  I’m gaun to Mauchline Holy Fair,
  To spend an hour in daffin: 
  Gin ye’ll go there, yon runkled pair,
  We will get famous laughin
  At them this day.’

  Quoth I, ‘Wi’ a’ my heart, I’ll do’t: 
  I’ll get my Sunday’s sark on,
  An’ meet you on the holy spot;
  Faith, we’se hae fine remarkin!’
  Then I gaed hame at crowdie-time,
  An’ soon I made me ready;
  For roads were clad frae side to side
  Wi’ monie a wearie body,
  In droves that day.

  Here farmers gash, in ridin graith,
  Gaed hoddin by their cotters;
  There swankies young, in braw braid-claith,
  Are springin owre the gutters. 
  The lasses, skelpin barefit, thrang,
  In silks an’ scarlets glitter;
  Wi’ sweet-milk cheese in monie a whang,
  An’ farls baked wi’ butter,
  Fu’ crump that day.

  When by the plate we set our nose,
  Weel heaped up wi’ ha’pence,
  A greedy glowr black-bonnet throws,
  An’ we maun draw our tippence. 
  Then in we go to see the show: 
  On every side they’re gath’rin,
  Some carrying dails, some chairs an’ stools,
  An’ some are busy bleth’rin
  Right loud that day.

  Here stands a shed to fend the showers,
  An’ screen our countra gentry,
  There Racer Jess, and twa-three whores,
  Are blinkin’ at the entry. 
  Here sits a raw of tittlin’ jads,
  Wi’ heavin breasts an’ bare neck;
  An’there a batch o’ wabster lads. 
  Blackguarding frae Kilmarnock,
  For fun this day.

  Here some are thinkin on their sins,
  An’ some upo’ their claes;
  Ane curses feet that fyled his shins,
  Anither sighs and prays;
  On this hand sits a chosen swatch,
  Wi’ screwed-up grace-proud faces;
  On that a set o’ chaps, at watch,
  Thrang winkln on the lasses
  To chairs that day.

  O happy is that man an’ blest
  (Nae wonder that it pride him!)
  Whase ain dear lass, that he likes best,
  Conies clinkin down beside him! 
  Wi’ arm reposed on the chair-back,
  He sweetly does compose him;
  Which, by degrees, slips round her neck,
  An’s loof upon her bosom,
  Unkend that day.