Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 32, November 5, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 53 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 32, November 5, 1870.

Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 32, November 5, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 53 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 32, November 5, 1870.

I like the sermon.  It is delivered with admirable effect, and is, on the whole, more soothing than the average syrup of the apocryphal Mrs. WINSLOW.  The rector compliments us all on our many virtues, and contrasts us with the supposititious sinners who are presumed to abound somewhere in the vicinity of rival houses.  The middle-aged men evidently feel that he will make no mistake worth noticing, and so go to sleep as calmly as though they were at BOOTH’S THEATRE.  The middle-aged ladies contemplate the dresses of their neighbors, and the young people flirt with cautious glances.  When the curtain—­when it is over, I mean—­we go cheerfully away, like an audience that has slept through a Shakesperean play, and feels that it has done its duty.  And when we are once more in the street, I say to MARGARET:  “This has been a delightful performance.  There has been nothing said to make one feel disagreeably discontented with one’s self, nor has there been any impolite suggestions as to the undesirable future of anybody, except the low wretches who, of course, don’t go to any church.  How much better this is than the solemn service, and, the unpleasantly personal sermons that we used to hear at your little rural church.”

MARGARET.—­“I do not like it.  Why should boys be hired to pray, and women to sing for me?  Why should I be told by the preacher that I am perfectly good, when I have just confessed that I am a ’miserable sinner?’ Why do you call this service religious, and Rip Van Winkle theatrical?  Believe me, St. APOLLOS deserves a place among your ’Plays and Shows’ quite as much as does BOOTH’S or WALLACK’S."’

And I to her—­“St. APOLLOS shall take its proper place in PUNCHINELLO’S show.  But permit me to say that you are very unreasonable.  What do you go to church for?  To be made uncomfortable and dissatisfied with yourself?”

MARGARET,—­“To be made better.”

MATADOR.

* * * * *

A PASTOR ON POLITICS.

The Reverend Mr. CREAMCHEESE congratulated the hearers of his last sermon upon the encouraging religious aspects of the time, remarking how pleasant it was in this fall season to find all the political parties in the country so interested in making their election sure.  We maybe mistaken, but we think the Rev. gentleman’s zeal outruns his discretion.  The preying of politicians is of a kind which we trust the clergy will never seek to imitate; but now that Congress has undertaken to supervise this matter of election, there no knowing what it may become in the future.

* * * * *

AN EVASIVE REPLY.

A Correspondent suggests that in No. 30 our artist has given Mr. C. A. DANA, in representing him as refusing a bribe with virtuous indignation, a two-cent-imental an expression.  In reply, Mr. PUNCHINELLO—­although his own opinion is that the mistake has been in making it rather dollar-ous than cent-imental—­would refer his correspondent to the artist.

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Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 32, November 5, 1870 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.