It laserates my venerable heart-strings, most noble Pea-cracker, to see how you’ve been lickt.

You have probly found out by this time, that the mantle of your grate unkle has passed into the hands of some other family.

The grate BONYPART was called the Gray Eyed man of Destiny, altho’ I don’t know what country that is in, as the village of Destiny haint on any of the war maps.

I should judge, however, onless there is a change in the program, that when this “cruel war is over,” you will wear the belt as the champion Black-eyed man of Urope.

Your so-called ascendant Star, is probly the identikle loominary which; Perfesser DAN BRYANT refers so beautifully to, in his pome of “Shoo-fly.”

It shone rather scrumpshus, in the dark, but the rays of the Sun has nockt its twinkle hire’n GILDEROY’S kite.

Yes, Squire BONYPART, your star is the only planet whose eclips has been visible to the naked eye, all over the world, and can be seen without usin’ smoked glass.

I think, in the beginnin’ of the war, when you left UGEENY for Nancy, that, like your Unkle, you made a bad go.

When the old man stuck to JOESFEEN he was a success.

Empires—­Kingdoms—­Pottentates and Hottentots, took the first train and skedaddled, when the General sot his affeckshuns on their territory.

The BOURBONS fled and come over here and settled in Kentucky, and commenced makin’ whiskey, payin’ a tax of $2.00 per gallon, and sellin’ the seductive flooid for $1.50 per gallon, gettin’ rich at that, which may surprise you, altho’ it doesen’t our Eternal Revenoo Offisers, who, as Mr. ANTONY remarked of H. BEECHER STOW when she stabbed Lord Byron, “are all honorable men.”

Finally BONYPART went back on JOSEFEEN, which made Mrs. B. scatter a few buckets of tear drops.

Said your Unkle: 

“What’s the use of blubberin’ about it?  Cheer up and be a man.  I belong, body, sole and butes, to France, who says my name must be perpetuated.  You, JOSEFEEN, must pick up your duds and look for another bordin’-house, for you can’t run the Tooleries any longer.”

He then sent to Chicago and got a ten dollar devorce, and married MARIAR LOUISER, arter which he become a played-out institootion, employin’ his time walkin’ in solo with his hands behind him, gazin’ intently on the toes of his butes, and wonderin’ if they was the same ones which had histed so many roolers off of their thrones.

In view of the past, you should have stuck to UGEENY, who, I understand, is good lookin’ and sports a pretty nobby harness.

The charms of Nancy may make your Imperial mouth water, but let an old statesman, who has served his country for 4 years as Gustise of the Peece, say to you, “Don’t be a fool if you know anything.”

Another reason of your unsuccess is that Lager is a hard chap to fite agin.  I tried it once.