Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 05, April 30, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 53 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 05, April 30, 1870.

Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 05, April 30, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 53 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 05, April 30, 1870.
is to say—–­ something pun-ny.) And besides these things, there’s energy.  We often hear of a man’s energies being taxed; but, so far as the matter is apparent to the naked eye, it is difficult to see whose energies are taxed for the good of the government at the present day.  This subject should certainly be investigated. (That is to say, a committee of Congressmen should be appointed, with power to send for persons, papers, and extra compensation.) Politics, too.  Every man has his politics, (that is to say, every man except Bennett,) and they ought to be taxed, if for no other reason than the great impetus the measure would give to the erection of fences throughout the land.  And letters, too.  If every one sent by the mail should yield one cent to the Treasury, how the currency would be inflated in that locality! (That is to say, in the locality to which the collectors would abscond.) But it is impossible, with the limited time at his disposal, for PUNCHINELLO to enter into a full examination and elucidation of this subject. (That is to say, he can’t think of any more illustrations just now, and the printer wouldn’t stand any more, if he could.) But it must be admitted that the great task of opening up the country, of which we hear so much, will never be complete until the Washington skinners and stuffers get us all into the prepared specimen condition. (That is to say, when the people are all willing todry up.”)

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JOHN CHINAMAN’S BILLING AND COOING.—­Pigeon English.

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CABLE NEWS.

(EXCLUSIVELY FOR PUNCHINELLO.)

QUEEN ISABELLA has sent her compliments to Senor CASTELAR, as well as to General PRIM, informing them that, on the whole, she thinks she will not return to the throne of Spain.  It does not agree with her quiet and refined tastes and habits to live so much in public.  All she wants now is a little chateau en Espagne.  She proposes to send her son, Prince of ASTURIAS, to Professor CASTELAR, to study modern history.  Is it not odd, by the way, that a country so long Mad-rid-den as Spain, should have now a governor with such a name as PRIM?  But, what’s in a name?  BOURBON, by any other name, would smell as sweet.  Some, however, prefer Old Rye.  I prefer water to both; especially to BOURBON.

It’s an old story that two positives make a negative.  Paris news tells us that a late will case has exemplified this.  COMTE, you know, was a positive philosopher.  He had a positive wife.  She had a will of her own.  He wrote a will of his own.  Consequently, it got into court.  Mme. COMTE it seems, who did not agree with the philosophy while the philosopher lived, wanted his MSS. after his death.  Positively, the court did not see it in that light; and so the negative came out.  It was a case of no go, or non-ego, as HEGEL might have called it.  Did you ever read HEGEL?  I didn’t; and I advise you not to begin.  It won’t pay.  I am told that he divided all things into Egos, She goes, and Non-egos, or No-goes.  The latter particularly; So do I.

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Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 05, April 30, 1870 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.