Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 18, July 30, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 54 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 18, July 30, 1870.

Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 18, July 30, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 54 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 18, July 30, 1870.

Comparative Industry.

It is reported that “the journeymen lathers demand four dollars per day.”  As a question of comparative soap, the latherers will in due time strike too.  The ultimatum will be-"Raise our pay or we drop the Razor.”

* * * * *

“Omnibus Hoc,” etc.

What is the difference between theft in an omnibus and the second deal at cards?

One is a Game of the Stage, and the other is a Stage of the Game.

* * * * *

OUR AGRICULTURAL COLUMN.

Memorabilia of “What I Know About Farming.”

Profound subjects should be well meditated upon.  A man may write about “New America,” or “Spiritual Wives,” or any such light and airy subject, without possessing much knowledge, or indulging in much thought, but he can’t play such tricks upon Agriculture.  She is very much like a donkey:  unless you are thoroughly acquainted with her playful ways, she will upset you in a quagmire.  Perhaps it is due to my readers that I should say here that I have read a great many valuable treatises upon this subject, among which may be named, “Cometh up as a Flour,” “Anatomy of Melon-cholly,” “Sowing and Reaping,” one thousand or two volumes of Patent Office Reports, and three or four bushels of “Proverbial Philosophy.”  I would also add, that I invariably remain awake on clear nights, and think out the ideas set down in this column.  Probably you may not be able to find traces of all that labor here, but I assure you that those books are more familiar to me than is my catechism.  However, anybody who thinks he knows more about vegetables than I do, can send me a letter containing his information, and, if I don’t cabbage it, I will plant it carefully in the bottom of the waste paper basket.  We now proceed to consider.

PAR’S NIPS.

This vegetable always flourishes in a moist soil, though it generally has a holy horror of aqua pura.  Some of them are of an immense size; I have seen them fill a tumbler.  Producers, however, generally charge more for the large ones than for the small.  The size of the nip usually depends upon the par.  It may be that your par’s nip is extremely small, while JOHN SMITH’S par’s nip is very large.  Four fingers is, I believe, considered to be the regulation size.

This vegetable is served up in a variety of forms.  Some pars like it with milk; in that case it is generally “hung up.”  In the winter it is often called a sling or a punch; in the summer it is denominated a cobbler or a jew-lip.  Perhaps it would be well for those who love it, to indulge in par’s nip now, for some people say, that in the days of the “coming man” there will be no par’s nips.  It must be admitted that the father of a family, who indulges too freely in par’s nip, is very likely to run to seed, and to plant himself in such unfruitful places as the gutter.  If he be a young par, he may become a rake, and fork over his money, and then ho! for the alms-house.

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Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 18, July 30, 1870 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.