“Foolish man!” continued the Doctor; “I say I was alone; let me demonstrate my proposition.  Blackstone says, and what he says every lawyer will concede is the end of the law, and the beginning too, for that matter, that when a woman becomes a wife, she loses her identity, becomes nobody; that her husband absorbs her existence, as it were, as he does her goods and chattels, in his own.  Now, sir, do you comprehend?  My wife was with me, and she, being according to law nobody, of course I was alone.  You, sir, being a law abiding man, must admit that my proposition is Q.E.D.

“The doctrine of absorption, as I call it, is convenient.  It promotes harmony of action, by subjecting it to the control of a single will, thus avoiding all embarrassment from a conflict of opinion between man and wife.  So, on my way to the trout stream (I say my way, for though my wife was on horseback by my side, yet she being, according to the best legal authorities, nobody, you see I was alone), I thought I would enlighten the good lady in regard to the true position, or rather the no position at all, which she occupied.  Our way lay for a couple of miles along an old road, towards a clearing which had been abandoned, and through which the stream flowed.  The tall old trees spread their long arms over us, clothed in the rich verdure of spring, and the breeze, so fresh and fragrant, moaned, and sighed, and whispered among the leaves.

“‘My dear,’ said I, blandly, as we rode along, the birds singing merrily among the branches above us, ’do you know that you are NOBODY?’

“‘Nobody, Mr. W——­,’ (I was simply Mr. W——­then; I had not become, nor even dreamed that I should become a Doctor), ’Nobody, Mr. W——?  Did you say nobody?’

“‘Absolutely nobody,’ said I.  ’A perfect nonentity.  You are less even than a legal fiction.’

“‘Look you,’ said she, as she applied the whip to her pony, in a way that brought him, with a bound, across the road directly in front of me (she rode like a belted knight), obstructing my progress, ’Look you, Mr. W——­,’ and there was a red spot on her cheek, and her eye sparkled like the sheen of a diamond, ’let us settle this matter now.  I can bear being of small consideration, occupying very little space in the world, but to be stricken out of existence entirely, to possess no legal identity, to be regarded as absolutely nobody, is a thing I don’t intend to stand—­mark that, Mr. W——.’

“‘Keep cool, my dear,’ said I; ‘let us argue this matter.’  I was calm, for I knew the law was on my side; I had the books, and the courts, and the statutes all in my favor.  I was fortified, you see.

“‘Argue the matter!’ she exclaimed; ’not till it is admitted that I’m somebody.  If I’m nobody, I can’t be argued with, I can’t reason, nor talk.  Now, Mr. W——­, I’ve a tongue.’

“‘Gospel truth,’ said I, ’whatever the authorities may say.  But we will admit, for the sake of the argument, that you are somebody; Blackstone says’——­