Sprockets was a recurring fictional West German television talk show skit created by actor, writer and comedian Mike Myers for the American sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live. Myers played Dieter (based on a real person who Myers met in art college), a bored, disaffected West German expressionist and minimalist who would interview celebrities in whom he was barely interested and always bring the discussion around to his "limited" monkey Klaus. The sketch made fun of German art culture in the 1980s. Appearing asexual or effeminate, Myers' costume consisted of tight black leotards; round, wire-rimmed glasses, and slicked-back hair. The show itself featured, most notably, a section entitled "Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videos," which showcased scenes of old men's heads spinning around, or dying cats and ANTS!! etc. The theme song for the sketch as heard on SNL is Kraftwerk's 1986 song Electric Café. The track was sped up by playing the 33⅓ rpm album at 45 rpm, then it was remixed. Some later skits featured Dieter outside of his talk show environment starring in parodies of game shows, TV dance parties, and art films. The sketch was to be made into a film in 2000, featuring Myers and David Hasselhoff, but abandoned after Mike Myers became dissatisfied with his own script using a script-approval clause in his contract. This resulted in a major lawsuit against Myers for breach of contract. Myers has said that he would one day like to make the film, however.
Quotes and catch-phrases
- "I am filled with anticipation (remorse), and it is most delicious."
- "I am so filled with anticipation (remorse), that my genitals have sucked up into my body cavity."
- "Would you like to touch my monkey? Touch him! Touch my monkey!"
- "His agony was gorgeous. I need to be slapped."
- "Berühre meinen Affen. Liebe meinen Affen-monkey!" (Touch my ape. Love my ape-monkey!)
- "Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance."
- "It was Twyla Tharp, or was it Vic Tayback, who once said of him: 'He is dance'."
- "It had a good beat and was easy to dance to; I give it a fourteen."
- "Now I am as happy as a little girl!" (spoken while pinching the fabric of his shirt at the nipples and pulling it away from his body)
- "Sadly, Klaus is limited. But he is beautiful, is he not?"
- "Your story (questions, setup, et al) has become tiresome."
- "I appreciate a warm hand on my opening."
- "Karl-Heinz, you are beautiful and angular; and if you were a gas, you'd be inert."
- "I am emotionally obliterated."
- "Gregor Voss, your presence intimidates me to the point of humiliation. Would you care to strike me?"
- "Textures intrigue me."
- "I would have liked to have seen you play Eddie completely covered in sores."
- "I simply adore Lego. They are like a thousand toys in one."
- "Why is it that the truly brilliant are doomed to a life of obscurity, surrounded by a sea of mediocrity, only to end up covered by sores in a pool of their own filth? Oh well, the beat goes on."
- "You have disturbed me almost to the point of insanity...There. I am insane now."
- "Whore. Nun. Whorenun."
- "Your anger is delicious."
- "I feel spent, like a man who is forced to wear his genitals around his neck like a pendant."
- "That book (film, poem, et al) pulls down my pants and taunts me. But not in a mean-spirited way."
- "In your film, Irritant #4, the only two images were a baby's head and a toilet. Did you mean for me to scream?"
- "That book (film, poem, et al) looks at me when I'm naked and calls its friends."
List of SNL episodes featuring Dieter
All appearances were in the form of "Sprockets" shows, except where indicated.
- April 15 1989 host: Dolly Parton
- May 20 1989 host: Steve Martin
- September 30 1989 host: Bruce Willis
- November 18 1989 host: Woody Harrelson
- December 16 1989 (in "Dieter In Space") host: Andie MacDowell
- March 17 1990 (in "Dieter's Dance Party") host: Rob Lowe
- September 29 1990 (in "Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videos") host: Kyle MacLachlan
- December 15 1990 host: Dennis Quaid
- April 13 1991 host: Catherine O'Hara
- February 15 1992 (in "Love Werks") host: Jason Priestley
- May 16 1992 host: Woody Harrelson
- March 20 1993 (in "Dieter's Dream") host: Miranda Richardson
- November 20 1993 (in "Das Ist Jeopardy!") host: Nicole Kidman
- March 22 1997 host: Mike Myers
