This is a list of frequently-occurring or long-running in-jokes used in the British satirical magazine Private Eye.
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Euphemistic expressions
- "Ugandan relations", or a variation thereof, is often used as a euphemism for illicit sex, usually while carrying out a supposedly official duty. The term originally refers to an incident at a party hosted by journalist Neal Ascherson and his first wife, at which fellow journalist Mary Kenny had a "meaningful confrontation" with a former cabinet minister in the government of Milton Obote, later alleging that they were "upstairs discussing Uganda". The poet James Fenton apparently coined the term.[1] In 1996, "Getting Back to Basics" was suggested as a replacement euphemism after the notoriously hypocritical policy of the same name adopted by John Major's government.
- "Exotic cheroots" is used as a euphemism for cannabis.
- "Tired and emotional" was a phrase used to describe 1960s Labour party Cabinet Minister George Brown, who had a drink problem. It first appeared in a parody memo printed in the Eye supposedly informing civil servants how to describe Mr Brown's conduct and state of mind. Due to the near-impossibility of proving intoxication without forensic evidence, journalists came to use the phrase as a way of describing drunkenness without inviting libel charges. However, the phrase itself has now entered common parlance. In 1957 a trio of Labour politicians, Aneurin Bevan, Morgan Phillips and Richard Crossman, successfully sued The Spectator over just such an allegation, which Crossman admitted in his diary was true of one of the triumvirate.[2] The phrase was allegedly first used by a BBC press officer of Brown in November 1963, as a description of his condition on a programme commemorating John F. Kennedy, which the Eye subsequently borrowed.[3] However, doubt must be cast on this claim because the programme on which Brown appeared was not broadcast by the BBC but by Associated-Rediffusion.
- ....Arkell v. Pressdram is a similar euphemism indicating that someone uttered an obscenity.
- "Trebles all round!" is a euphemism implying that super-rich tycoons lavishly celebrate the sorts of business deals, standardly reported by the Eye, which involve an implied aspect of corruption and lack of sensitivity for the well-being of anyone else. The phrase is a standard conclusion to stories such as these.
- (Takes out onion) is a stage-direction inserted into articles when someone is allegedly faking sorrow, and is usually used to denote hypocrisy.
Stereotypical and exaggerated personifications of people and organisations
- Letters to newspapers such as the Daily Telegraph, from elderly, out-of-touch and reactionary people, are parodied by missives purportedly from a "Sir Herbert Gussett". Sir Herbert's address varies: in the early 1980s, for example, it was the alleged village of Lymeswold, but can variously be a made-up place claimed to be in Wiltshire, Dorset or Oxfordshire. Sometimes the name of the place reflects the content of the letter; for example, when writing on cricket (as he often does) he may live in the Dorset village of Arlott St John, a reference to John Arlott. On many occasions, he will write from the saloon bar of the Lamb and Flag public house (which has real-life counterparts in Oxford and Covent Garden). It was once a popular joke among holidaying readers to send letters to English-language newspapers in their host country, which were allegedly from Sir Herbert Gussett. These would typically bemoan or praise the country in relation to a recent visit allegedly made by Sir Herbert. The reader would await publication, clip the printed letter, and send it straight to Private Eye, which usually printed them for 'the usual fiver'. This practice has died out somewhat in recent years.
- Until the 1997 UK General Election, old-fashioned Tory MPs were lampooned in the form of the "Sir Bufton Tufton". Though the character's name was inspired by the unusual name of Sir Tufton Beamish, his out-of-touch attitudes and opinions were more similar to those of Gerald Nabarro, Patrick Wall, Marcus Fox and the Monday Club. Sir Bufton's constituency was usually Lymeswold, though this was subject to topical change, but his greediness, laziness, bigotry and incompetence remained constant. He was only pictured once, when the Eye used a photo of a real-life Tory MP, which drew an immediate letter from the innocent victim.
- Mike Giggler, an e-mail correspondent to newspaper letters pages, usually appearing at the bottom of the page having sent in a particularly unfunny pun.
- Lord Gnome is purported to be the proprietor of the magazine, and is an amalgamation of various different media magnates. Originally modelled on figures including Lord Beaverbrook and Lord Thomson of Fleet, first appearing under the name "Aristides P. Gnome" in the early 1960s, Lord Gnome has accumulated other characteristics over time to encompass the likes of Rupert Murdoch. He is portrayed in the magazine as a man of great wealth, greed, unscrupulousness and vulgarity. Lord Gnome rarely writes under his own name, but issues his proclamations, editorials and threats through a fictional underling named Emmanuel Strobes, with reference frequently made to his Lordship's "assistant", Miss Rita Chevrolet. Lord Gnome, as well as a media magnate, is regularly referred to as having other business ventures, frequently mentioned in his opening letter in each issue. Special offers from "Gnomemart" frequently appear in the magazine, and The Eye also carries an occasional column called "The curse of Gnome" which chronicles the subsequent misfortunes of those who have in the past taken legal action against the publication. In 1993, during the first and only televised ceremony for Private Eye's annual Bore of the Year Awards ("the Boftys"), Lord Gnome (played by Peter Cook) made a brief appearance on a satellite hook-up from his yacht, appearing to fall overboard during the broadcast, in a parody of Robert Maxwell's death. Use of the word Gnome is Lord Gnome's name is a possible reference to the Gnomes of Zurich.
- Fictional quotations from the police are attributed to "Inspector Knacker of the Yard", a reference both to knackers' yards, where old horses were sent to be put down and recycled, and to "Slipper of the Yard", the nickname of former Metropolitan Police chief Jack Slipper.
- People engaging in lawsuits, especially frivolous, pointless or cynical ones, are often said to be represented by the law firm "Sue, Grabbitt and Runne". Danny La Rue, a well-known female impersonator, responded to being featured on the front cover by threatening to "go to the family solicitors, Rue, Grabbit and Son".
- St Cake's School is an imaginary public school, run by a Mr R.J. Kipling (BA, Leicester). The headmaster's name is part of the joke regarding the name "St Cakes", in reference to Mr Kipling cakes. Articles featuring the school parody both the "Court and Social" columns of The Times and The Daily Telegraph, and the traditions and customs of the public school system. The school's motto is Quis paget entrat (Who pays gets in), though variations on this arise from time to time, such as when the school decided to only admit the daughters of very rich Asian businessmen, and the motto became All praise to the prophet, and death to the infidel. While the school's newsletters feature extraordinary and unlikely results and prizes, events such as speech days, founder's days, term dates and feast days are announced with topical themes, such as underage drinking, drug abuse, obesity, celebrity culture, antisocial behaviour and cheating in exams. The school is sometimes referred to as "the Eton of the West Midlands", the joke being that the West Midlands are not regarded as a place where such a school is likely to be located, though there are public boarding schools in the area in real life, such as Rugby School.
Neasden
This unfashionable suburb of North West London is also the location of various other parody institutions, and is often given as the origin of fictional letters. The magazine was initially printed in Neasden before being turned away by the printers, which might explain the origins of this joke, though in 1971, Richard Ingrams said simply that Neasden was used "to denote the contemporary urban environment".[cite this quote] The magazine used to regularly feature sports reports by E. I. Addio about the mythical and notoriously underperforming football club Neasden F.C., with quotes from its manager "tight-lipped ashen-faced supremo Ron Knee, aged 59" and "the fans" (implying there were only two) Sid and Doris Bonkers. The club's recent misfortunes lampooned the recent tribulations of major clubs in the national news. Often, underneath a spoof sports story, the sub-column "late result" would appear, reporting on a match recently played by Neasden. This normally involved a humorously unlikely team, often one related to current affairs, such as Taleban FC. Neasden nearly always lose by a huge margin, often owing to own goals scored by veteran player "Baldy" Pevsner.
Deliberate word-plays and misnaming of organisations
Almost every organisation mentioned regularly in Private Eye is from time to time subject to word plays on its name to highlight an aspect of the company or its activities that the magazine finds objectionable.
- Capita, a long-term favourite target of Private Eye, is frequently called "Crapita" and "the world's worst outsourcing firm".
- The Serious Fraud Office is often the Serious Farce Office.
- The Department of Trade and Industry is often the "Department of Timidity and Inaction".
- The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs is usually called the "Department for the Elimination/Eradication of Farming and Rural Affairs" in the Down on the Farm column and elsewhere in the magazine, while its acronym DEFRA, is usually spelt DEFRO (Death Row).
- First Group is usually known as "Worst Group" in the Signal Failures column.
- The Guardian newspaper is nearly always referred to as "The Grauniad", in reference to the paper's reputation for typographical errors and mistakes.
- The Financial Services Authority is invariably referred to as "The Fundamentally Supine Authority" in reference to its reluctance to act and chummy nature with the industry it supposedly regulates.
Subtle jibes aimed at specific individuals
- At one point the magazine printed many letters from a reader named "Ena B Maxwell", of "Headington Hall, Oxfordshire", the real-life address of Robert Maxwell. The letters were written by the Private Eye editorial team, and the pseudonym was attached to suggest that he was writing to the magazine under an assumed identity. Naturally, these letters were careful not to make any legally-actionable claims, but instead contained material that was simply silly and impertinent, just to annoy Maxwell.
- A photograph of journalist, broadcaster and publisher Andrew Neil (nicknamed "Brillo Pad" by the Eye) was printed in many consecutive editions. It shows Neil dressed in a tank top with baseball cap and embracing an attractive young Asian woman. On the photograph's initial printing, it was learned that Neil found the photograph embarrassing, and the magazine subsequently printed it whenever possible. The woman in the photo was initially assumed to be Pamella Bordes, a former beauty queen with whom Neil had had a relationship, but was eventually revealed to be an American woman Neil was briefly involved with while in the United States.[4] The image still appears regularly in the magazine, usually in the Letters section, where a reader will describe current events via a euphemistic reference to the image in an appeal to the magazine to print it. For example, during an outbreak of Asian bird flu, it was suggested that the Eye show an image showing "correct procedure for handling an Asian bird". On another occasion, a reader, discussing the idea that the Eye needed to become more accessible to young people, asked for an example of a "juxtaposition of the old and the young brought together in reasonably harmonious union". In response, Neil has described the gag as an example of "public school racism"[5] on the part of the Eye's editorial staff, which he finds "fascinating". In addition to the photography, the Eye also frequently refers to Neil as "Neill", inspired by the unusual spelling of Pamella Bordes' name.
- The photograph has since seen a sequel, a colour image depicting Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Öpik in an intimate clinch with Gabriela Irimia of the pop group The Cheeky Girls, which usually accompanies a similar euphemistic reference in the Letters page to a news story with a vaguely Anglo-Romanian or Eastern European angle.
- "(Shome mishtake, shurely? Ed)" is a frequent comment supposedly scribbled into the copy by the editor and mistakenly printed as part of the article. The slurred 's'-sounds refer both to drunkenness, which Private Eye has for a long time associated pejoratively with journalists, and the distinctive speech patterns of Bill Deedes (who became Lord Deedes, but was known within the magazine as "Shir Bill Deedesh"), former editor of The Daily Telegraph and the eponymous 'Bill' of the Dear Bill letters. As an editor, Deedes was known for his complete lack of knowledge of contemporary slang and culture. Other stock comments from the Ed include:
- You've already done this
- Get on with it
- We've just had this
- Who he?
- Oh no you don't
- What that?
- Excellent stuff, keep going
- That's enough [X] (where [X] is the subject or person under discussion)
- Is this right?
- You're fired
Columns written by the Eye's fictitious columnists, for example Glenda Slagg, frequently contain many such editorial marks, ranging from messages of disapproval and requests for improvement to eventual sacking ('you're fired').
Spurious surrealism
Towards the end of each issue, the magazine contains increasingly surreal jokes, references and parodies. Many of these have developed over time, and are thus now very familiar to long-term readers.
- The magazine itself is frequently referred to as an "organ", providing endless possibilities for sexual innuendo.
- Grapefruit segments – once an infuriatingly-pervasive and out-of-place component of lists (such as features on new cars, etc), now seldom seen.
- The Sizzler – an alleged fried breakfast for sale at extortionate prices on any train journey mentioned. At the first mention of The Sizzler, the article in which it appeared would be sidelined into a recital of the glories and deliciousness of said item.
- The Grand Old Duke of York, based on a children's nursery rhyme, is used to parody current military news, such as cut backs or scandals. For example, reports may appear that the Duke's 10,000 men are being reduced to 100 and they won't be marching up any hills because they don't have any boots.
- Bulleted lists are usually shorter than stated and include two final entries of "Er..." and "That's it".
- The number 94 is used as a generic boringly large number, e.g. "the awards ceremony, in its 94th year", or the reader may be referred to volume 94 of some highly obscure (and non-existent) reference work. Spoof newspaper articles are typically ended mid-sentence with "(continued page 94)" to indicate that some activity (or a long-winded person's boring speech) is going on and on. The latter may be shortened to 'cont. page 94', particularly used after the names of those disliked by Private Eye (e.g. "said Jeffrey Archer (cont. page 94)"). No issue of Private Eye has ever run to anywhere near 94 pages. Spoof transcripts of radio broadcasts may end with "(continued 94 MHz)".
- Phil Space is a fictional journalist. He usually 'writes' articles mainly to fill space on the page, hence his name (and similarly Phil Pages, Phil Airtime [a radio news correspondent], Philippa Column etc.). The articles are rarely informative or useful and are often completely irrelevant.
See also
References
- ^ Brewer's Dictionary of Modern Phrase and Fable (2000)
- ^ http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article785986.ece
- ^ Brewer's Politics (1995)
- ^ Riddell, Mary. Non-stop Neil, at home alone. British Journalism Review. Retrieved on 2006-03-14.
- ^ Riddell, Mary. Non-stop Neil, at home alone. British Journalism Review. Retrieved on 2006-03-14.
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| Satirical Magazine | |
| Important people | Richard Ingrams • Willie Rushton • Christopher Booker • Paul Foot • Ian Hislop • Francis Wheen • Peter Cook |
| Franchise | Private Eye TV • Books • Merchandise • Audio recordings |
| Famous features | Colemanballs • Teacher's diary • Battle for Britain • Dear Bill • Barry McKenzie • Dumb Britain • Glenda Slagg • St Albion Parish News • E. J. Thribb • Prime Minister Parodies |
| Miscellanea | Mini-sections • Frequent targets of parody • Recurring in-jokes • Monty Stubble • Neasden F.C. • Not Private Eye • Tired and emotional |
