Bat Boy

Weekly World News character
Bat Boy
Gender:	Male
Race:	Chiropteran

Bat Boy has made several appearances in the defunct supermarket tabloid Weekly World News. The Weekly World News published patently fabricated stories which were purported to be factual. Within the pages of the paper, Bat Boy is described as a creature who is 'half human and half bat'. His pursuers, according to Weekly World News are scientists and United States government officials; he is frequently captured, then later makes a daring escape. Bat Boy debuted as a cover story on June 23, 1992.^[1] The original front-page photo of Bat Boy, showing a creature with a grotesque screaming face, was the second-best selling issue in the tabloid's history, and he has since evolved into a pop-culture icon. The story of Bat Boy was turned into an acclaimed off-Broadway musical, Bat Boy: The Musical.

Biography

Bat Boy often appears on the frontpage of the Weekly World News.

According to Weekly World News, Bat Boy has a chaotic sense of morality. He has been said to steal cars but also to come to the aid of the needy. According to the mythos, the only person who cares about the chiropteran child is Dr. Ron Dillon, who discovered him in a West Virginia cave. At the time of capture, he was two feet tall and weighed nineteen pounds. By February 2001, he was 2' 6". In 2004, he was five feet tall and his weight was unknown. He sheds his wings every three years, and regenerates a new pair.^[2]

On 27 February 2001, he allegedly attacked a fifth-grader in an Orlando, Florida park. The girl was nearly ripped to shreds.^[3] The next day, he endorsed presidential candidate Al Gore.^[4] On 14 August 2003, he announced he was running in the California gubernatorial election.^[5] In October 2005, it was revealed that a boy was saving his money for plastic surgery such that he would then resemble Bat Boy.^[6] In October 2006, Bat Boy was captured on film riding on top of a New York City subway car. Bat Boy was said to be living in the Subway's tunnels during this time. This story was converted into a "documentary" video on the Weekly World News web site. ^[7]

Genealogy

Still according to the Weekly World News, the discovery of Bat Boy's family tree on a genealogy chart recently stunned evolutionary scientists who used to think the famed imp was a pitiful, one-of-a-kind mutant - but now believe he belongs to a race of creatures who have interacted with humans for at least 400 years. The chart itself was written on vellum and found in the same Ozark Mountains cave where Dr. Ron Dillon, a biologist, rescued Bat Boy after he was trapped by a falling rock in 1992. Carbon dating revealed the chart to be over a hundred years old. {The Ozark Mountains are no where near West Virginia ... see introductory entry above.}

• Artemis "Pip" Boee (1591-1622) - Little is known of his life. Arrived in the New World days after the landing of the Mayflower at Plymouth Rock on the lesser known vessel, The June Bug.
• Charles Alexander "Cotton" Boee (1612-1691) - The son of Artemis, he was a prosperous farmer in Massachusetts.
• John "Little Cotton" Boee (1658-1722) - The deeply religious firstborn of Charles who was devoted to his wife Rebecca. It is noted that her own birth was hard and long, resulting in slightly enlongated ears.
• Susannah Boee (1661-1692) - John and Rebecca's daughter; she gave birth to two children, Alexander and David. The townspeople, perhaps frightened by her pointy ears, accused the woman of "consorting with Satan" during the Salem witch trials. She was burned at the stake; however, her children were not.
• Alexander Boee (1679-1769) - the shortest family member on record, standing at twenty-eight inches tall. Remembered for having changed the spelling of his last name to "Boie" ("because he wanted people to think he was French").
• David Boee (1682-1776) - the younger brother of Alexander Boee. He is revered as the oldest soldier to fight for American independence. Tragically, he was killed the day the British surrendered.
• Catherine Boie (1735-1815) - Alexander's daughter who was best known for her work with wildlife. She studied animals and kept many unusual species as pets, including bats. Her oldest child, Andrew, was fascinated with the nocturnal critters.
• Andrew Jackson Boie (1785-1866) - The study of bats, owls and other nighttime animals his life's work.
• Rodney Boe (1787-1869) - Was Catherine's youngest child, an inattentive speller who inadvertently dropped the "i" from the family name. Family friends presume Rodney's poor scholarship was an attempt to focus attention on his smarter siblings, to divert eyes from his short stature, oversized eyes and pointed ears.
• Archibald Boe(1825-1911) - Rodney's firstborn, he left the family's ancestral home in Massachusetts and moved to California where people were "more tolerant" of unusual looking people.
• Marcus Boe (1875-1930) - Eldest son of Archibald, he established himself as respected "bug man" with a successful exterminating business. There were rumors that he didn't use flypaper or traps, but caught them with his mouth.
• Horace "Joe Ears" Boe (1890-1931) - Archibald's youngest son who left California at age thirteen, hopping an eastbound train to Chicago. Horace was shot dead in a shootout with famed federal agent Eliot Ness in 1931.
• Margaret Boy (1910-1983) - Horace's only child. She dropped the "e" from the family name and added a "y" so people wouldn't associate her with her mobster dad. She left Chicago and moved to West Virginia .
• Herbert Hoover Boy (1944-1972) - Worked in the coal mines of West Virginia as a child of 12, not of financial need, but because he liked caves and the job.
• Susan Boy (1954-?) - Herbert Sr.'s daughter. She achieved regional success as a country singer with a persona that has been likened to that of mountain songbird Dolly Parton. Susan's liaisons with an unnamed country legend produced two children: Ruth Carter Cash Boy and "the one they call Bat".
• Ruth Carter Cash Boy (1972-?) - "a quick learner who was able to quit school after the sixth grade." It is unclear where she is today.
• Bat Boy (1982-?) - The brother of Ruth Carter Cash Boy. He is a decorated U.S. Marine who has confounded the authorities by stealing cars and biting children after serving his country as a "super patriot" on the front lines in Afghanistan and Iraq. Elusive and reclusive, where he will pop up next is anybody's guess.

Adventures of Batboy

Cartoonist Peter Bagge originally penned the "Adventures of Batboy" for the Weekly World News. According to the cartoon, Bat Boy is currently hitchhiking with a typical American family after resigning from being the President of the United States (and King), has placed Weekly World News columnist Ed Anger under arrest and saying goodbyes to Beyoncé Knowles, a half sasquatch, (with whom he was romantically involved) and Dr. Ron. Accorrding to past issues of WWN, Bat boy has joined a death metal/thrash metal band as their lead singer. On 2006-01-16, artist Danielle Corsetto of Girls with Slingshots took over for Peter Bagge on the weekly strip.

Bat Boy: The Musical

Poster for the 2001 musical showing the first (1992) photograph of Bat Boy (Weekly World News)

Main article: Bat Boy: The Musical

A musical based on the Bat Boy character premiered at Tim Robbins' Actors Gang Theatre on Halloween, 1997 and has since been produced Off-Broadway, in London's West End, and in scores of productions throughout the world. Music and lyrics are by Laurence O'Keefe, with a book by Brian Flemming and Keythe Farley. Bat Boy premiered in the UK at the West Yorkshire Playhouse in Leeds and ran on London's West End at the Shaftesbury Theatre. The first UK amateur performance of Bat Boy was at Goldsmiths College, London.

Trivia

In the movie Twelve Monkeys, as James Cole (the protagonist) is escaping from an asylum, a security guard can be seen reading the original Bat Boy issue of the Weekly World News.

References

• 11 July 2005 issue of Weekly World News