Summary

“Cease Not till Death,” pages 145 - 173. Kalanithi writes of how, in the aftermath of learning that treatment had stabilized his cancer, he struggled even harder to come to terms with what he used to imagine his life becoming, and what it HAD become. He writes about feeling out of place within his former community of colleagues. He returned to literature, searching through texts and writings to find discussions of death and mortality. He felt, at times, like he couldn’t go on but made himself do so (following the example of a character created by writer Samuel Beckett). Kalanithi also decided to strive for a return to surgery – because, he says, he could. Even if he was dying, he adds, he was still living.

Emma Hayward, Kalanithi writes, was supportive of his decision, and finally, after weeks of waiting, finally gave him an...