Summary

In Chapter 4, "The Inferiority of My Connections," Deborah goes to the synagogue to see Satmar Rebbe for Simchas Torah. Men and women are divided by a small partition. Watching everyone lunge for a view of the rabbi, Deborah finds the tradition silly. She doubts much about her faith, realizing it separates her from her friends. She watches Miriam-Malka, a model girl in her class, wishing she could be like her. She leaves early, feeling scared traversing the steps where a rabbi's pregnant wife fell to her death.

After the fall holidays, Deborah begins high school. From the classroom, she regards the library, thinking of Zeidy's disparaging words about English. Because she has been working to fortify her social connections, Deborah is afraid to return to the local library. Instead, she travels to the Mapleton branch, so as to remain undetected. Deborah zones out...