Chapters 1-3 Summary

Fred "Bogus" Trumper introduces several main characters. First, however, he introduces his problems with urination. He has always had problems with his "equipment." A doctor suggests the Water Method to treat the problem.

Bogus has a history of slow, painful urination and sex. Even though his father is a urologist (doctor specializing in genital and urinary problems), Fred has never found a satisfactory answer to what is wrong with him. He plans his life around when he will go to the bathroom and has thought about giving up sex. After years of consulting many different doctors and trying many drugs, Bogus goes to see a French doctor, Dr. Vigneron. Dr. Vigneron announces that Bogus's problem is a long, winding urethra, a birth defect. He tells Bogus that he has four options to take care of the problem. He can continue trying...