Miss Samson is Sedaris's fifth-grade speech therapist. She is clever, often trying to trick Sedaris into pronouncing words that will demonstrate his lisp. Her therapy sessions are a nuisance and embarrassment to Sedaris so he works diligently at developing a new vocabulary to avoid using S-words. In hindsight, these efforts may have contributed to Sedaris's future as a writer.
Miss Samson waits until her last session with Sedaris to share some friendly banter. She reveals that she has a fiancé who is in Vietnam, but is from Roanoke, Virginia. She has a grandmother in Asheville who she will spend Christmas with while her fiancé is overseas. She is also a college football fan, willing to make the drive from Asheville to Jacksonville after the holidays to watch Florida play Tennessee in the Gator.....
