Sedaris begins his next essay with a phone call from his proud father. Lou is ecstatic because his most beautiful child is going to be so highly recognized. Amy is going to be featured in a magazine article about interesting women in New York.
Sedaris points out that Lou is an old fashioned man who remains convinced that a woman's best chance at a happy life is to get married. He is constantly poking at his other daughters about their size, pointing out if they have gained a few pounds. Amy is the most attractive of the Sedaris children and has also managed to keep her weight in check. Thus, Lou shows obvious favoritism toward Amy.
Amy, who has always had a knack for impersonation, comes home for Christmas.....
