The history of pets in the Sedaris family is recounted in this chapter. It all begins with two border collies, Rastus and Duchess, acquired by the family in the early 1960s while still living in western New York. When Rastus and Duchess have puppies, Rastus sneaks away into the woods, leaving the others behind.
The birth of Duchess's puppies is a critical point in the lives of the Sedaris children as their mother becomes a magician who can bring anything back from the dead. One puppy gets so sick that the children think it is dead. Mrs. Sedaris quickly scoops the puppy up, puts it in the oven at a low 200 degrees, and soon the puppy pops awake. She continues to perform this trick on countless hamsters, but once.....
