The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy Quotes

This Study Guide consists of approximately 31 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more - everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy.
This section contains 617 words
(approx. 2 pages at 400 words per page)

"For in writing what I have set about, I shall confine myself neither to his rules, nor to any man's rules that ever lived."

"The beginning of the last chapter, I informed you exactly when I was born; but I did not inform you how"

"Did not Dr. Kunastrokius, that great man, at his leisure hours, take the greatest delight imaginable in combing of asses tails, and plucking the dead hairs out with his teeth, though he had tweezers always in his pocket?"

"With all this sail, poor Yorick carried not one ounce of ballast; he was utterly unpractised in the world; and at the age of twenty-six, knew just about as well how to steer his course in it, as a romping, unsuspicious girl of thirteen."

"thou hast got an hundred enemies; and till thou hast gone on, and raised a swarm of wasps about thine ears, and art half stung to death by them, thou wilt never be convinced it is so"

"But I must here, once for all, inform you, that all this will be more exactly delineated and explain'd in a map, now in the hands of the engraver, which, with many other pieces and developements of this work, will be added to the end of the twentieth volume"

"For my own part, I declare I have been at it these six weeks, making all the speed I possibly could,—and am not yet born"

"Well! dear brother Toby, said my father, upon his first seeing him after he fell in love- and how goes it with your asse"

"A soldier, cried my Uncle Toby, interrupting the corporal, is no more exempt from saying a foolish thing than a man of letters- But not so often"

"I wish I never wrote it: But as Inever blot anything out- let us use some honest means to get it out of our heads directly"

"For my own part, I am resolved never to read any book but my own as long as I live"

"I told the Christian reader- I say Christian reader- hoping he is one- and if he is not, I am sorry for it- and only beg he will consider the matter with himself, and not lay the blame entirely upon this book."

"Twice did my Uncle Toby forget his wound, and cry out, Le Fever! I will go with thee, and thou shalt fight beside me- and twice he laid his hand upon his groin, and hung down his head in sorrow and disconsolation"

"The accusing spirit which flew up to heaven's chancery with the oath, blush'd as he gave it in; and the recording angel as he wrote it down, dropp'd a tear upon the word and blotted it out forever."

"Nature instantly ebb'd again- the film returned to its place- the pulse fluttered-stopped-went on-throb'd- stopp'd again-moved-stopp'd- Shall I go on? No"

"Now don't let us give ourselves a parcel of airs and pretend the oaths we make free within this land of liberty of ours are our own."

"As for the clergy- No - If I say a word against them I'll be shot."

"That, Madam, is the very fault I lay to your charge; and as a punishment for it, I do insist upon it, that you immediately turn back, that is, as soon as you get to the next full story and read the next full chapter over again."

It is a singular blessing, that nature has formed the mind of man with the same backwardness and renitency against conviction, which is observed in old dogs- "of not learning new tricks"

"My Tristram's misfortunes began nine months before ever he came into the world"

This section contains 617 words
(approx. 2 pages at 400 words per page)
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