Chapter 3, 1 April - Year of the Tucks Medicated Pad, Chapter 4, 9 May - Year of the Depent Adult Undergarment, Chapter 5, Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment, and Chapter 6, Year of the Trial-Size Dove Bar Summary

Hal Incandenza, age 10, goes to see a man who calls himself a professional conversationalist. The man establishes that Hal is advanced for his age, who can recite parts of the dictionary at will and is a superb tennis player. The man tries to talk to Hal about esoteric subjects, but Hal calls out the man as his father, saying that James Incandenza has rented a new office and face for this, but left his trademark sweater vest on. He...