Summary

In the section “Eden Five Needs You” Austin describes the movie he and Shann watched on their date. In the movie, aliens abducted a teenager to their planet, called Eden Five, to use his sperm to start a new population of humans on that planet. Not wanting to be responsible for an entire new species of human mess-ups, the teen stole a spacecraft and went back to Earth for his best friend. The U.S. President, who was mad because his sperm wasn’t being used to start the new species, sent an aircraft full of frozen embryos to shoot down the teens’ aircraft. During the movie, Shann and Austin made out. He was surprised and embarrassed when he had an eruption when she rubbed him during the movie.

Austin also includes that...