Summary

Lying in her hospital bed, waiting for surgery, Kate longs "for that God of Yes" (53). Not expected to live out the year, she bargains with God, asking Him to save her. Stage Four colon cancer has unexpectedly filled Kate with love for her son, husband, friends, and family. She calls Chelsea and makes her promise to tell Toban to get remarried because she does not "want this to be the end of both our lives" and because "Zach needs a mom" (57-58). She asks herself why the doctors kept sending her home with antacids and minimizing her pain before the diagnosis. After surgery, she wakes up filled with advice for others: "Live unburdened. Live free. Live without forevers that don't always come" (60). She writes, "I don't know how to die, but I know how to press this crushing grief into hope, hope for...