Summary

Chapter 3

Chapter 3 is about the realization that simply “being present”, engaging, and conversing is painful; the more alert one is, the more likely one is to notice racist language. The author shares advice on coping, the wise words from a friend and more thoughts from Judith Butler, a gender theorist and philosopher.

More examples of racism and stereotyping are described: 1) A friend offhandedly uses the phrase 'knappy-headed ho' as a greeting; 2) A co-worker uses another woman’s name and then skillfully includes her as partly responsible for the mistake; 3) A well-educated woman says she didn’t know black women could get cancer; and 3) A real estate woman is surprised and uncomfortable when showing a home.

A conversation is overheard and a fellow author admits to speaking differently in the presence of blacks, and again, it is clear that blacks are not one of...