Yossarian recalls his first stay in a military hospital, back when he was a private. He complains of a pain in his side, first suggesting to the hospital that it might be his appendix. Yossarian switches his self-diagnosis to liver pain at the recommendation of an intern, who suggests that a liver problem would be far more difficult to disprove. Unwilling to risk liability, the doctors admit him to the hospital. Days later, Yossarian is deemed healthy and about to be discharged, when another patient frantically claims to be seeing everything twice, causing the entire ward to be placed under quarantine. Yossarian enjoys Thanksgiving Day in the hospital and vows to spend all future Thanksgiving Days cloistered in medical care. When the quarantine ends, Yossarian also frantically.....
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