Summary

David Sedaris wonders how tall Rock Hudson was and then reflects how identical Google searches on different people's computers always turn up different results. His computer seems to be particularly wholesome. When he Googles "How tall is..." the computer autocompletes the question with the name "Jesus" and suggests he was around six feet tall (34). David reflects on the likelihood that Jesus was in fact both tall and handsome as he is so often portrayed. Sedaris then writes about his experiences as a short man who is five-five. He gets excited when he spots a fellow short man and wonders if his height is why he gets "hit up for money a lot" from strangers in the street (35).

Despite the knowledge that some people consider "short-men" to be a dating deal breaker, David does not feel he gets shafted by his height. He sees...