"I didn't realize that he would grow to the size of a small Labrador, only mad." August Chapter, pg. 7

"I think I've got a right to know if my dad is a transvestite." September Chapter, pg. 34

"I was just about to tell him (even though in our plan it wasn't really his turn)...when a Sex God came out of the back room." September Chapter, pg. 48

"Phew, I suppose I am a woman now." October Chapter, pg. 75

"Well, it sort of splits your face in half and it, well, it spreads your nose out more." November Chapter, pg. 102

"Honestly, I'm bullied by a three-year-old and a Scottish wildcat." December Chapter, pg. 111

"Watching TV Mum said 'Do you miss your dad?' and I said, 'Who?"' January Chapter, pg. 148

"She said, "Nnnnghhhh!" and then just left the room." February Chapter, pg. 155

"Robbie is not engaged!!! Thank you, Baby...