Summary

30 – “Four months into loving her, I cried” (211), with an intensity that the author describes as overwhelming, painful, and embarrassing. She writes of how, throughout her life, she had kept her feelings under control, and told herself they were not important. She also writes of how, in therapy, she worked to get in touch with her feelings in the belief that she would eventually become comfortable with them. That comfort, she adds, never came: feelings are too powerful, she says, and too hungry.

31 – The author’s discomfort at being with Jon increases as they look at contemporary photographs of him, and as he tells a story about when she was born. As she drives away, the author calls Amaia, who calls her brave: the author keeps to herself the sense that she could have ended up as deteriorated as Jon...